jay423

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Jay423

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Jay423

lovers5201

Jay423

Earthquake sneezer

Noname - 27/01/2009 00:02 - Japan

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

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Anonymous - 23/09/2011 10:41 - United States

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

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IbetIgotAIDS - 12/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

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Not_you17 - 09/09/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

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Not_you17

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Saturday 10 September 2011 20:01

Ok so here is an update, they canceled my $147 fine because I was using 100% legal us tender. However in order to pay off the $35 in pennies they had to either be rolled by the bank or I had to count them 1 by 1, so I rolled 'em.

KJL - 29/08/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

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