Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML
Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML
Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
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