Miss Kansas, United States 29 years-old Single
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML
Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
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