In a relationship
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML
Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML
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