SuPeRGaY69

Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML

Lock it up

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

All sexed up

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML