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smitzer

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miadison, USA
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Friday 24 August 1990

Smitzer

... It's complicated?

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lovers5201

ipierre95

Evocator

neeni88

SierraaaNi...

Epikouros

happylappy

jmaurm

Smitzer

Smitzer

Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

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happyturtle - 10/10/2013 11:27 - Croatia

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

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Kinda cute

anon - 09/09/2013 15:15 - United States - Mantua

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML

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Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

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Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

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