ReginaEvolution

Worried dad

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

Chlamydia central

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML