Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Newark, United States
Well done!
Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising, and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to third base with his girlfriend. FML
Top comments
Keevarou 17
Maybe your parents really want grand children?:) But congratulations on reaching your fitness goal! You should be proud of yourself about that. Not everyone have the patience and willpower like you do, so it would be double luck, he reaching third base, and you fulfilling your goal:) Have a nice day.
boofgall 16
Tell your brother I say "high five!".
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Comments (62)
dougierocks 13
I'm with #12... Let them know you are way more promiscuous than your brother.. Good for you on your success! Keep it up!
emilyjgraham 34
how is showing you're promiscuous a good thing? especially to parents?
pavlovaaLOVE 7
46- u need to brush up on ur sarcasm detecting skills
emilyjgraham 34
57, as you may have noticed, sometimes it's hard to detect sarcasm through text...
wanderingshopper 13
Maybe they knew you could and would meet your goal, but figured your brother would always remain a virgin.?
Ispeaklanguages 4
Someone please explain all the bases please. We're not all American.
I_Punch_Babies 7
google it
perdix 31
Ok, 1st base: Golden shower 2nd base: Dirty Sanchez 3rd base: Blumpkin Home run: Boston Pancake That's the American League version, the National League uses the Cleveland Steamer for third base and doesn't allow you to use a Designated Shitter. I hope that helps. Party on!
Dracoboxer357 36
72- Perdix, that's brutal. ;P But, I still applaud you. 44- (ahem) I always thought the Actual bases were..... 1) Kissing. 2)Groping. 3)Oral. 4)Intercourse. .....at least, Bumpkins aside, that's what I believed. ;P
perdix 31
#112, ah, I also take any opportunity to lead foreigners astray. It's kind of my revenge for what happened to me in Belgium. It's unspeakable! It's blumpkin, not bumpkin. Look it up at Urban Dictionary, if you dare. I don't even believe it's a real thing -- I think someone just Punk'd UD.
Dracoboxer357 36
113- I meant Blumpkin, sorry. My iPhone seems to be a tad pushy with it's autocorrect :p And while I've never received (or given) oral sex on someone performing a bowel movement, I am familiar with the term. ;P Ick.
KaelaKhaotic 5
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...
justin574 6
says the dumb hipster bitch with retarded glasses
groupleader 7
Your brother has better goals, but I agree, 3rd base is nothing to celebrate. Congrats on your weight loss, wanna go all the way with me? We will show your parents some priorities. Better yet, we can also do anal, bet you will get some appreciation from them once THAT news gets out.
pandarara116 4
Well congrats op im proud of you :P
l23VIVE 17
Bow chicka wow wow
IIRangerLacrosse 3
Sounds like your parents are really shitty. Who congratulates their kid that way?
pavlovaaLOVE 7
Parents with no morals! That's who
Marlie_May84 4
Congrats on your weight loss! ^o^. Now buy yourself some new clothes to celebrate your new size!
dannyice 2
Just make sure your friend is not in the same changing room to 'watch'
Marlie_May84 4
Lol! Also make sure you put your old pants back on before going to the check out. (reference to FML from a couple months ago)
derpinator 2
Wtf is third base
T1A2Z3 35
Oral sex