Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I signed up for a theater production as they needed extras. I had exactly one line in the entire play. During opening night, I became so focused on remembering the line, I forgot to walk on stage when it was my cue. People stood there on stage waiting for my character, who was backstage, congratulating himself for not forgetting his line. FML
Today, I was sent the script to a play I'm participating in at school. After reading it a couple of times, I noticed that my part has been forgotten completely. FML
Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML
Today, I had my first day in an acting class. Our assignment was to perform a dramatic monologue. I got super into it, threw myself into character, and dramatically fell to my knees to deliver a line. Unfortunately, my knees slipped, and I faceplanted into the floor in front of the entire class. FML
Today, I had a big presentation at work and I was feeling really confident. I'd practiced it over and over and I knew it inside out. But when I got up to speak, I realized I had left my notes at home. I ended up winging it and it was a disaster. FML
Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML
Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML
Today, I had a phone call from a company I was applying to. It was going really well, until the call ended. Now since I'm so used to calling my girlfriend, I ended the call with, "Love you, bye." And if things couldn't get any worse, I started swearing to myself. The recruitment officer heard me. I forgot to hang up. FML
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Top comments
electrorange 13
That's why they tell you to never mix business with pleasure.
SirCharles83 13
9- I doubt that. You're getting paid. We are just hating you.
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Comments (64)
upallnight11 19
And how long did it take before you finally realized this?
diaosi 4
Right, I would think you would realize when you read "hello, I'm...."
perdix 31
After you noticed that your only prop is a moldy headset and the set is a phone bank that stinks of sweat, cigarettes, desperation and failure. And the "ushers" clock your bathroom visits with a stopwatch.
GangnamWannabe 6
So it takes you so damn long to realize your reading the wrong script. You deserve it for not realizing sooner
eyesmile27 7
That happens to me too. So it's pretty common. Don't be discouraged. You may have inadvertently practiced your sales pitch, but that'll make it easier for you to register when that happens and then change it to the play you are supposed to practice.
ashhfrgvbdgovss 6
So many people hate on the telemarketers but how hard is it to just hang up on them without being a bitch? :)
sugarshane007 20
I would assume that since you decided to do improv OP, your castmates joined in, and told you to **** off with that sales bullshit.
TwoOneFive 11
I love messing with telemarketers.
crazytwinsmom 25
How bad this is depends on what you sell. Sex toys, cookware...
joethebiden 8
That just gave me an idea for a musical. A musical about shit jobs.
BVBARMY1238 9
You're a telemarketer?!?! DON'T CALL MY HOUSE!!!
Minim_fml 3
Call me. You know my number.