Health: Today, I realized that I'm so goddamn lazy that my body has trained... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By FastTurtle9 - 13/05/2016 14:11 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I realized that I'm so goddamn lazy that my body has trained itself to have to go to the bathroom when I start doing physical labor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 36

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

smallandroid 26

Friday 13 May 2016 22:04

That could be en entirely different problem, OP. I know when I had kidney stones, if I jumped around or anything I could end up pissing myself. Might be worth checking out?

GhostFox 33

Tuesday 17 May 2016 10:24

Actually, exercise causes bowel movements among other issues. Look up "runner's *****" if you are brave enough.

Comments

smallandroid 26

Friday 13 May 2016 22:04

That could be en entirely different problem, OP. I know when I had kidney stones, if I jumped around or anything I could end up pissing myself. Might be worth checking out?

JTBSpartan 4

Saturday 14 May 2016 4:34

I feel for you OP. I am in the same situation

GhostFox 33

Tuesday 17 May 2016 10:24

Actually, exercise causes bowel movements among other issues. Look up "runner's *****" if you are brave enough.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Parents I need your advice Love Instagram Ghosting Social Media Weddings Kids Weird Crush Sexism Babysitter Swimming pool Gross Bodyshaming Students Teenagers Anxiety School Education Mental health Embarrassing Awkward Cleaning Family Football Sports Cheating

The Top

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 185

You deserved it 8 895

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 217

You deserved it 5 222

Random

Today, while on a flight, another passenger pulled their carry-on out of the overhead. They forgot about the filled, metal water bottle clipped to the outside until it nailed me on top of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 272

You deserved it 463

Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 390

You deserved it 1 729

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 357

You deserved it 2 480

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school, and once we got to his class, I leaned in for a kiss. Surprising me, he leaned away, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out, but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 735

You deserved it 5 124

Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 184

Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 260