Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family are refusing to go out to eat with me anymore. Apparently, me liking my food cooked a certain way infuriates them because it delays our order, and makes the wait staff hate us. FML
Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML
Today, I overheard the popular kids say that they were planning on going to the local fast food restaurant to take pictures of the obese people that go there. Not only do I work there, but my family and I were planning on having dinner there tonight. FML
Today, my 45-year-old child of a mother made such a dramatic scene over finding a hair in her food that the initially apologetic owners ended up kicking my family out. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter uses visits to my house as punishment for her kids. “Do as you’re told or we’re going to grandma's house where you’ll be bored for hours.” FML
Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, my parents ate at a new Italian restaurant. They said it was the best they'd ever had and brought me some, insisting I try it. It had so much garlic and sugar in it that I couldn't finish. They're upset because one of our cousins owns the restaurant, and they say I'm not being supportive. We're Irish, not Italian. FML
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Top comments
Kiki242 19
Call Gordon Ramsay.
notjanedoe 27
Culinary classes. Or alternatively you could leave leaflets with sensible parenting advice and the address of your restaurant all over town.
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Comments (86)
5oapbox 4
Am I the only one who's wondering how he found this out? I can't imagine parents literally saying this, unless it's as a joke.
tenac71 6
money is money
theworldismad 10
you need Paula Deen
buddy51 23
"Parents, bring your misbegotten spoiled progeny to OP's restaurant! Their gastronomical horror will make them puppets for your authoritarian control!!" I think, OP, that you've got the perfect exercise in very bad taste... YDI for being clueless to the howling screaming torment of the house full of kids with crushed spirits!!
Mamaluigi619 4
sorry but that actually made me laugh
5oapbox 4
The Ramsey joke's been made unfortunately. Twice. /:
AngrySailor 17
BACON is the answer!
ManicGypsy 22
I thought Amy's Baking Company was in Arizona, not Pennsylvania. LOL.
Ziggy122 15
Sounds like you gotta get your place on Restaurant: Impossible.
Steve95401 49
When you dine at this restaurant, you pray after you eat.
dead_insects 18
reminds me of natural born killers ^_~