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NRFTW Denver, United States

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

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A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Top comments

skittycat213 19

Please tell the police to get their heads out of their asses and do their jobs! Y'know, the one we're paying for with tax money!

He's still damaging your property, so he could be charged with vandalism or a similar offense.

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Comments (245)

Some laws are too broad and some are too right...maybe do what they said OP that's probably your only option if it happens again...

But it's till considered disturbing the peace. Sounds like some lazy cops. My father was an officer I know he'd get that clown

You should have started blasting your music then the cops would have come ! I'm sick of how things work. I went to the cops because I lent my lawn mower to someone and they never gave it back and eventually sold it I had proof that the person had it at one point and proof that it was mine but they do nothing.

In Georgia if you are on private property without the consent of the landowner you are tresspassing. Get a pump shotgun. Nothing will get someone's attention like the sound of a 12 guage racking a shell into the chamber. You really don't even need a shell, just the sound will get people moving in the opposite direction.

that reasoning is too good.

Lawyer up and sue the bastards.

Maybe they're related to the drunk idiot.

Well looks like someone is going to lose their job! :D

Get the hose! He will soon move!!

could've been worse he could've took a shit