Joe Bidet By userrrrr - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML agreeclassic 49 450 vote type 1 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML agreeclassic 27 911 vote type 1 5 555
Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML agreeclassic 25 114 vote type 1 82 635
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML agreeclassic 57 724 vote type 1 11 828
Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML agreeclassic 28 363 vote type 1 2 439
Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML agreeclassic 54 083 vote type 1 3 955
Today, I got fired from my first job because of the herpes on my lip. It was actually a second degree burn from soup that splashed on to my lips when I was serving it but my manager doesn't believe me. FML agreeclassic 17 298 vote type 1 1 248
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?