Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML
Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML
Today, I noticed some of my thongs were stretched out and now hung loose on my hips. I thought it might be the dryer set too hot but no, apparently my mom has been wearing them over her fat ass, and thought I wouldn’t mind since we occasionally share our hoodies. Not the same thing mom. GROSS. FML
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, I returned a shirt for my mom. When the cashier asked why, I just said my mom didn't like the way it looked. After an awkward pause, I noticed the cashier was wearing the same shirt. She was not amused. FML
Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
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Top comments
Cloudy_fml 0
Since you obviously seem to know how to work the washer and dryer, maybe you should be doing your own laundry...
TotalPandamonium 2
I doubt your mom is in perfect shape. Shrink her clothes and tell her you were returning the favor. Also try to save up and move out if your old enough to do so.
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Comments (61)
FweakofCydonia 40
Tell your mom that because of how shrunk your clothes are, you might as well be naked....all the time. Now imagine her horror and maybe, just maybe, she will buy you new clothes that fit.
becca9985 34
Amen to #6! I was going to comment something very similar, however, he/she phrased it perfectly.