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Parenting is tough

By Paul - 18/01/2026 03:00

Today, I rushed to a pharmacy with a sick toddler and handed the pharmacist my insurance card. He looked at it and said, “This expired six months ago.” I’d been using the digital copy on my phone the whole time and didn’t realize my insurer had changed my group number. I left with a $120 bill and a sticky-handed kid who refused to take medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 140

Happy birthday, huh?

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 22:00

Today, I told my family that for my birthday I didn’t want to do any chores and just wanted the house cleaned. What they heard was mom won’t do chores today so let’s leave them all for her tomorrow. I didn’t even have a clean mug for coffee this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 83

Just for a day

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 12:00

Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 91

Traumatic

By Anonymous - 26/01/2026 22:00

Today, I sent my kids to play in the back garden and immediately heard them screaming. We buried our dog last week and last night some animal dug her up and spread the bones and rotting flesh around. The stench was horrendous, the kids are traumatized, and I vomited while reburying the bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 133

Ego boost

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 12:00

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I took my girlfriend to meet my friends, and they made her play a drinking game. A question she had to answer was about me and how she liked my hygiene, because her ex had terrible hygiene and never wiped his ass. Today she dumped me for him, so now to my friends I'm the guy who is lower than the skidmarks guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 74

Setup

By Lenore - 03/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. My husband said we should “adapt, not panic” and brought lubricant from the garage. It had a skull warning on it. Apparently I married an engineer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 86

Just take your food, lady

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 20:00

Today, my DoorDash account, which is my primary source of income, has been suspended. I got another ridiculous complaint from some overly sensitive Karen because she saw my three dogs in the car while I was delivering. It’s not like my babies were touching the food or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 964

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 06/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I spent 3 days preparing for a presentation and practiced it at home. It was my turn in class, but my laptop wouldn’t connect to the projector. The teacher said, “Just explain without slides,” which erased my entire brain. I stared at my classmates in silence before blurting out, “The slides explain it better than I can.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 87

Food guilt

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 376

Drugery

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 22:00

Today, I think I've reached that point in my marriage where sex is reserved for Valentine's Day, my birthday (maybe), and our anniversary. Which is fine, I expected it to come at some point, just not when I was in my 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 43

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The Top

Today, one of my best friends went into labor 14 days early. I'd told my boss previously about this and that I need to be there for my friend as she doesn't really have any family. My boss will not let me leave work to be there. Why? I didn't give enough notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 090

You deserved it 3 389

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 098

You deserved it 2 794

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 179

You deserved it 3 450

Today, while teaching my brother to drive on the freeway, I told him to downshift from 4th to 3rd. He went into 1st instead, blowing my engine and transmission. I can't afford to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 617

You deserved it 565

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 965

You deserved it 3 633

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 241

You deserved it 4 989