The Top

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They targeted gamers

By DSK - 09/01/2023 15:00

Today, my girlfriend once again insisted that she didn't have a problem with my gaming. Considering that every day I find my PC desk covered in junk, and all my consoles disconnected, somehow I don't think she's telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 318

Dream on

By No more monkeys! - 28/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband’s dream has always been to have a big family. I however cannot physically or mentally handle having any more. He’s now threatening to hire a surrogate to continue pumping out babies for him. We already have 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 135

By lonestar - 03/02/2010 13:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 186

You deserved it 5 705

Not the brightest star

By Anonymous - 30/05/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched on camera as my son tried to light a bonfire and set fire to my shed. Props to him, he ran to get my mini fire extinguisher from the car, but he pulled the pin then THREW THE EXTINGUISHER INTO THE FIRE. The dumb SOB thought mini extinguishers worked like grenades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 174

By oneiPodlighter - 10/10/2013 03:03 - United States - Conshohocken

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 984

You deserved it 24 838

Stuck

By Forgetfull - 02/02/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 752

You deserved it 26 640

Easy listener

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 08:06

Today, on the phone, my boyfriend was complaining about the heat. When I told him that it wasn't hot where I live, at all, but that I had trouble sleeping due to stress, he replied, "Because of the heat, right? What else can it be?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 252

Commodity consumption

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 18:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend helped me move some things into storage, all while complaining about the amount of stuff I own. He's the one who keeps buying me things I don't need or want, even though I tell him every year I wouldn’t mind getting no gifts at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 185

By ThatWasntFun - 29/01/2015 21:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 2 442

By Joey - 30/01/2011 17:21 - United States

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 067

You deserved it 3 381

Tilt

By Imwithstupid - 02/06/2024 17:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, it's the third time this year I was recommended to meet someone because we're "so smart, we'll get along." At dinner, this person complimented how I'd do great in their graduate course on data science. I helped develop the degree program. I can't believe I missed pinball for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 261

Not smart

By Mateo - 14/12/2008 03:58 - France

Today, I surprised my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her 24th birthday. She got up from the couch as I entered, and I shouted, "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glanced over from the couch and greeted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 791

You deserved it 67 622

The one with the wedding

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I’m single, I got permission to bring a friend as my plus-one to my sister's wedding. He’s religious so I thought of all people he’d be one to behave. Nope. He got plastered on champagne, slapped the brides ass as she was walking down the aisle with our dad, then started a fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 04/10/2013 03:36 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 889

You deserved it 3 299

By GHTD - 27/01/2011 11:20 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 607

You deserved it 41 014

Counterstrike

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 05:40 - United States

Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 400

You deserved it 3 502

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 441

You deserved it 6 096

Check out Hank Pecker's Chadvice

By electronjames - 09/06/2024 17:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, it's now exactly one year until I turn 30 and I’ve never been with a woman before. I know that it’s over for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 553

You deserved it 27 344

By AlreadyInDebt - 26/01/2011 08:52 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been paying student fees for the wrong account. Apparently I have been paying for some other student's tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 094

You deserved it 8 027

By Rosies - 30/11/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 616

You deserved it 3 026

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 315

You deserved it 37 640

Dealbreaker

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 09:00

Today, unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend got a tattoo of the Joker on his neck. The worst part? It's Jared Leto's godawful Joker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people, and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 536

You deserved it 3 144

Meme life

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 22:00

Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 146

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 346

You deserved it 8 494

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:40 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 576

You deserved it 4 033

Crowbar time

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 17:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I'm moving to almost 1,000 miles to a new state. I packed everything up in the U-Haul and it is en route to the new place. I just realized that it shows up tomorrow and I have no idea where the keys are to unlock the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 807

Spooky!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 16:22 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 2 365

By reject - 21/01/2011 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, when taking a group picture with my closest friends, a passing parent congratulated us on getting into the same university for next year. She's wrong. They're all going to Cambridge, except for me. I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 093

You deserved it 5 930

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 291

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 660

You deserved it 4 353

Today, I went to a job interview. At the end of it, after I had got the job, my new manager said, “See you soon.” I then accidentally replied, “You too, love you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 400

Today, at my wedding, my golden child brother gave a speech that was a load of lying shite. He was telling tales of arrests, drug use, sexual antics, the lot. My wife knows it’s not true but her family think I’m scum, and my mother just told me she’s “not angry, just disappointed in me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 60

Today, I got a concussion at work. Our resident schizophrenic decided to test how gravity worked by dropping a torch over the bannister directly onto my head. I'm still seeing stars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 707

You deserved it 1 383

Today, I went out to dinner with the girl of my dreams. Wanting to get to know her, I asked her what she’s looking for in a relationship. She scoffed and said how relationships are for the weak and that it’s better to not catch feelings to avoid being hurt. I guess I don’t have a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 162