By wolfwolfy - 13/03/2010 07:18 - Canada
The Top
By SADlilAZN - 17/02/2009 05:04 - United States
Not again…
By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 06:00
The last to know
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Unexpected
By kalazoo21 - 25/08/2009 12:54 - United States
By fannyfitel123 - 24/08/2009 16:43 - United States
By Kegronauer - 23/08/2009 21:35 - United States
avidfmylife tells us more.
By tftm - 05/01/2013 05:37 - United States - Elmhurst
By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 02:24 - United Kingdom
By Tamps - 13/02/2009 09:46 - United Kingdom
By jhulich - 24/12/2013 20:48 - Sweden - H?gersten
By millavitsa - 03/01/2013 22:36 - Ukraine
Lowered expectations
By dac5 - 12/04/2020 05:00
Sax appeal
By blackcarnation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - South Windsor
Sorry…
By Anonymous - 08/03/2010 00:44 - Australia
Fortnite thievery
By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 16:01
By AbsentMindedGal - 21/12/2013 09:07 - United States
By Embarrassed - 11/02/2009 01:46 - United States
Sharing is caring
By blackrose - 08/08/2021 02:01
By Anonymous - 19/12/2013 22:49 - Australia - Kensington
By FromNL - 25/03/2011 12:22 - Netherlands
By MariadelMar - 19/08/2009 15:03 - United States
Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath
By ugh mom! - 22/04/2020 20:00
Classic
By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01
By me - 15/12/2013 01:49 - United States - West Babylon
By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States
By bittersweet - 08/02/2009 03:08 - United States
Rock, hard place
By coius - 06/05/2020 08:00
By TheLadyOpal - 13/12/2013 07:55 - United States
TheLadyOpal tells us more.
Aaaah! I finally got an FML published :D Awesome. Now to clear a few things up: I have had an irrational fear of sudden loud noises my whole life. Not necessarily the noise itself - (although there are exceptions if it's particularly loud, like the smoke alarm), but the anticipation of the noise - one of the reasons I hated school was because I would sit in class and worry about whether or not we'd be having a fire drill that day. And I don't keep an alarm clock. I have tried to keep one in the past, only to realize that if I'm expecting an alarm to wake me up in the morning, I don't sleep. I don't have a cell phone either, and I live alone, so to the smartass who suggested someone mess with my phone to set an alarm ring-tone, sorry to burst your bubble :P And no, I don't actually WANT to die - I was just thinking about this the other day and saying to myself, would I actually rather die in my sleep than wake up in the middle of the night to a terrible noise and have to maybe evacuate my house and call 911 and probably dissolve into a sobbing wreck due to all the anxiety? No, death is not the better solution, obviously, but irrational feelings tend to disregard logic.
Keywords
haha the comments are all great. I'll clarify a couple things: 1) I accidentally left my stick-on bra cups in a main part of the house where he easily found them 2) I was embarrassed that he found them and that I caught him but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It's "FML" because my dad was squishing my bras. It's "YDI" because I left them out where he found them. I decided it was better to not embarrass both of us by confronting him and explaining what they are, so I just pretended I didn't notice and left the room.