Transportation: Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a...

By Snickers - 12/05/2012 04:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 267

You deserved it 54 115

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Same thing different taste

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 452

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 317

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 882

You deserved it 45 730

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 412

You deserved it 22 027

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 436

You deserved it 43 509

By drkate25 - 18/12/2012 22:02 - United States - Enfield

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 873

You deserved it 30 585

By PulledOver - 01/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 978

You deserved it 54 839

By LucidNightmare - 27/01/2013 05:38 - United States - Englewood

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 18 702

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 478

You deserved it 3 240

By Ilovelife07 - 14/01/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 735

You deserved it 46 574

klovemachine 24

Saturday 12 May 2012 11:55

It's just a candy bar. That's not worth getting a ticket for! YDI

IIRoxieII 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 11:55

Hahaha, WTF?

Comments

misshighjinks 5

Sunday 13 May 2012 6:22

Wat...you need to calm down....

whogivesafuck88 10

Sunday 13 May 2012 6:53

Out of all the stupid posts I've read on this site ,and there has been some REALLY STUPID ones, ones that make me question the intelligence of the whole human race, this is by far the stupidest. Not only are you and idiot op but you also have absolutely nothing wrong in your life if this is the big disaster you decide to share. Bravo you are dumb and boring

bambalam 0

Sunday 13 May 2012 8:12

At least if they ever try to send you to prison you could still plead innocent by reason of insanity

Caretaker21 4

Sunday 13 May 2012 8:21

Your not cheating your diet your cheating yourself.

edgestr 2

Sunday 13 May 2012 8:26

People like you should not drive. You could have killed someone.

other121 2

Sunday 13 May 2012 9:36

Umm.. What the hell?

DollyDope 17

Sunday 13 May 2012 9:57

New diet plan, courtesy of your county jail, partially frozen turkey and bread sandwiches. Hope you weren't on the Atkins

CaptainJackCat 5

Sunday 13 May 2012 11:21

I must say, this is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. How on Earth was slamming the gas your first instinct? I feel like tossing the candy to one side would have been slightly more logical.