Kids: Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able...

By makeitstop - 04/08/2011 13:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 606

You deserved it 63 644

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Same thing different taste

By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 362

You deserved it 95 152

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 349

You deserved it 14 544

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 00:33 - United Kingdom - Knowle

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 448

You deserved it 6 768

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 932

You deserved it 8 805

By brichard22 - 12/07/2015 14:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 860

You deserved it 5 830

By obnum - 24/05/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 243

You deserved it 45 864

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 536

You deserved it 6 578

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 377

You deserved it 22 769

By AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 837

You deserved it 1 907

By Anya - 17/12/2016 16:09 - Japan - Fukuoka

Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 710

You deserved it 1 835

ilovehamburgers 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:54

Yes you are.

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:57

I hope you resorted to butter beer.

Comments

pedosmurf 7

Thursday 1 March 2012 21:30

Better than some

Scoutman 5

Saturday 10 March 2012 0:48

Seems normal to me.

midgles 6

Sunday 1 April 2012 22:30

Wtf

atishe24 9

Sunday 15 April 2012 7:43

Aww you think you're a bad parent? DAMN RIGHT!! But at least you admit it. But still!!!

deathlyhallows39 2

Sunday 29 April 2012 5:28

Pottermore is so amazing, its worth "yapping" about. It finally came out, in April, instead of October, so trust me, your child is amazing

FarscapeSDC 9

Monday 30 April 2012 23:38

OP should have said "I'm tired of your Jibber-jabber, fool" before picking up his daughter and throwing her through the window.

foxx315 4

Friday 25 May 2012 3:40

How could a parent make such comments about their own child. This is so terrible!!!

newburton13 26

Friday 24 August 2012 2:56

Enough "jibber-jabber" could drive even the most loving of parents to extremes. I've seen it happen.

newburton13 26

Saturday 2 June 2012 3:20

Explain to her how life works. Shit happens. Cry a river, build a bridge, and get the **** over it.

TJhudson181 12

Monday 18 June 2012 23:28

Lol Pottermore

YBae 27

Tuesday 28 August 2012 2:35

At least you know it.

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The Top

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 4 488

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 1 664

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 623

You deserved it 3 761

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 685

You deserved it 3 139

Today, although we are Asians, my father told me not to date other Asians, particularly anyone Chinese or Vietnamese, because I will have nothing but trouble. He's also not fond of me dating Black or Latino people. No surprise, he wants me to bond with my old, stupid, white supremacist high school classmate again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 178

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 224

You deserved it 29 110

Same thing different taste

Misunderstanding

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