Kids: Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able...

By makeitstop - 04/08/2011 13:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 606

You deserved it 63 644

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Same thing different taste

By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 362

You deserved it 95 152

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 349

You deserved it 14 544

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 00:33 - United Kingdom - Knowle

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 448

You deserved it 6 768

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 932

You deserved it 8 805

By brichard22 - 12/07/2015 14:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 860

You deserved it 5 830

By obnum - 24/05/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 243

You deserved it 45 864

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 536

You deserved it 6 578

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 377

You deserved it 22 769

By AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 837

You deserved it 1 907

By Anya - 17/12/2016 16:09 - Japan - Fukuoka

Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 710

You deserved it 1 835

ilovehamburgers 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:54

Yes you are.

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:57

I hope you resorted to butter beer.

Comments

love15_fml 8

Thursday 11 August 2011 10:29

That's what you get for being a muggle.

salh 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:21

Is your last name "Black" by any chance? She must be a squib, BLAST THAT DAMN MUDBLOOD OFF YER TREE

scene_girlie 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 15:59

i don't really get a word she just said, besides that her daughter did something with harry potter? damn, i'm stupid.

iiLuv 0

Friday 12 August 2011 11:26

u are an awful parent! ,,|,,

hpbrocster 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 7:35

to he'll with u!!! Harry Potter is awesome and it's called Pottermore. stupid.....

beautifuldirtyri_fml 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 22:46

Stfu, ************.

thehalfelf 2

Monday 15 August 2011 2:53

at least he admits it.

TheAPPLESLAVE 4

Tuesday 16 August 2011 15:34

Today, I found out that my mum hates ne. How? I saw it on fmylife.

xpskl 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 18:23

I registered. :3

coadycat 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 20:04

Harry Potter is the best. I'm preregistered for Pottermore. If you hate her for it so much, you should be booted from the family.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I realized that my sense of attraction is so incredibly messed up and geeky that I found the "Rib Woman" monster in the World Of Horror game that I play fascinating. Do not look up what she looks like, you will be unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 316

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 688

You deserved it 7 957

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 012

You deserved it 4 226

Today, the cows on the neighboring farm have been lowing loudly for 3 days straight. The guy who runs the farm is unreachable. The people who own the farm and live right next to the stable claim they don’t hear a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 156

Today, while at my family reunion, I learned my grandparents were first cousins. No wonder we're all crazy hillbillies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 165

Today, at around 11 p.m., the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 297

You deserved it 1 626

Same thing different taste

Misunderstanding

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