Miscellaneous

By Anonymous - 29/01/2010 19:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to cut class with one of my friends and we ended up going to Burger King. As we sat down at the table, I heard my name being called. My mum was getting lunch through the drive thru with my little brother and saw my car parked out front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 519

You deserved it 42 325

Slippery

By Dana - 29/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 121

You deserved it 3 210

By anonymas - 29/01/2010 15:29 - Norway

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 626

You deserved it 3 630

By purple - 29/01/2010 11:22 - France

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 220

You deserved it 10 444

By Anonymous - 29/01/2010 07:25 - United States

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 354

You deserved it 58 623

By bw9669 - 28/01/2010 19:35 - Canada

Today, I had to cancel all of the plans to go away on a romantic weekend with my boyfriend. My parents are going out of town for a night and I have to stay home a babysit my little sister. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 775

You deserved it 5 120

By tattooooooface - 28/01/2010 13:08 - United States

Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 617

You deserved it 39 752

By wishihadpockets - 28/01/2010 10:24 - United States

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 270

You deserved it 43 277

By Anonymous - 28/01/2010 08:09 - United States

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 610

You deserved it 3 067

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 265

You deserved it 49 647

By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 19:51 - Canada

Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 202

You deserved it 31 003

Brain fart

By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 119

You deserved it 41 386

By samantha - 27/01/2010 14:05 - Singapore

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 765

You deserved it 4 386

By Sundendako - 27/01/2010 10:20 - Australia

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 457

You deserved it 3 559

By pubquizgenius - 27/01/2010 08:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 876

You deserved it 25 404

By Brummsta - 27/01/2010 07:41 - Australia

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 2 617

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 734

You deserved it 8 608

By evil - 27/01/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 997

You deserved it 4 387

Long wait

By Candace - 27/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We'd told the waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-English speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 488

You deserved it 3 927

By computergeek - 26/01/2010 21:25 - United States

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 368

You deserved it 2 446

By optimist - 26/01/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 711

You deserved it 31 070

By Anonymous - 26/01/2010 18:55 - Canada

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 379

You deserved it 8 731

By Fonz - 26/01/2010 14:39 - United States

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 523

You deserved it 56 720

By fwebles - 26/01/2010 09:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and went to go have a shower. The trouble is, my bedroom door is broken and will no longer open. My mother's idea of helping was pushing a note under the door saying she'll be back in a couple of hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 434

You deserved it 2 547

fwebles tells us more.

fwebles 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 1:19

Bonjour, I am the person who wrote this FML and I thought I would clarify for you guys. The door broke overnight. I went to turn the handle but the mechanism is broken so it didn't move the little metal bit out of the wall (technical terms eh? :P). The hinges were on the other side of the door, and I didn't have anything with which to unscrew them anyway. I resorted to escaping through my window and climbing off my roof. :)