Miscellaneous

By nobffs - 01/01/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 482

You deserved it 2 966

By MorganRox26 - 31/12/2009 16:52 - Canada

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 055

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 412

You deserved it 22 027

By stonesober - 31/12/2009 01:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 763

You deserved it 3 576

By 20 - 31/12/2009 00:28 - Australia

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 105

You deserved it 3 127

By dripping sink - 30/12/2009 16:34 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 425

You deserved it 14 628

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 07:08 - Canada

Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 694

You deserved it 39 338

By lala456 - 30/12/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I had my noise-canceling headphones on and a girl sitting next to me raised her glass at me. I thought she meant "cheers". So I did a "cheers" with her. When I drank my juice, it was only then did I realize that she was trying to tell me the flight attendant had mixed up our drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 254

You deserved it 27 169

Complicated

By mylifeissad - 30/12/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 282

You deserved it 37 970

By kenzieeeee - 30/12/2009 00:30 - United States

Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 639

You deserved it 2 372

Make it til you fake it

By namehere34 - 29/12/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I found a diamond on the floor, which I could only assume was from one of my brother's cheap earrings. I was positive that it was fake. To prove it to myself, I ran it across my window, as they say only real diamonds cut glass. It's real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 488

You deserved it 42 453

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 583

You deserved it 6 882

By musicgod123 - 29/12/2009 16:56 - France

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 099

You deserved it 44 507

By bradyman - 29/12/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 374

You deserved it 6 141

Move!

By patrickRafael - 29/12/2009 14:21 - Singapore

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 3 010

By dentinpalevo - 29/12/2009 07:29 - Cyprus

Today, it's my first day-off for the holidays. Today is also the day they decided to start building a house next to mine. I can't sleep beyond 7 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 950

You deserved it 2 371

By SpaceAstronaut - 28/12/2009 21:42 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 814

You deserved it 5 224

By ahh - 28/12/2009 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, the last person I invited to my birthday party called and said they couldn't come because another party "came up" and they "hope I understand". It's on December 31st. This happens every year without fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 9 101

By Spac3Ghost - 28/12/2009 17:08 - China

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 638

You deserved it 26 345

By mikeyamazing - 28/12/2009 05:00 - France

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 508

You deserved it 4 806

By xMiSS_CuTiEx - 27/12/2009 22:25 - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 126

You deserved it 14 375

By LaurenLehmmman - 27/12/2009 22:22 - United States

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 295

You deserved it 52 280

By DroopyDog - 27/12/2009 08:48 - Netherlands

Today, I got a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 989

You deserved it 3 963

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 525

You deserved it 4 182

By Unfortunate - 27/12/2009 05:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 834

You deserved it 45 467

By Crippled - 27/12/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 690

You deserved it 2 897

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 521

You deserved it 71 449

By thatguy - 26/12/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 520

You deserved it 8 514

By DeannaMarie - 26/12/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I found out the gift card my friend gave me for Christmas actually has no money on it and was never purchased in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 324

You deserved it 2 354

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was accused of being a "racist whore" at work. I'd only asked a man if he needed help finding anything, as that is part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 176

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 924

You deserved it 4 395

Today, I can't afford to lose my job but I've been consciously sabotaging my job for months now. My manager pulled me aside to let me know that I am untrustworthy and need to improve. I'm smart and have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I had a great work ethic in my previous job, even winning awards for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 496

Today, I realized that my new house is next to an elementary school playground. I figured this out after I kept hearing loud high pitched screaming when the kids had recess from inside my house. My sensory issues are already thanking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 807

Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 327

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 226

You deserved it 3 351