Miscellaneous

By cheesfactor - 19/05/2012 19:50 - Bulgaria - Rousse

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 974

You deserved it 2 379

By educatttiiioonnn - 26/09/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 885

You deserved it 26 093

Stand your ground

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I got lectured by my father for cussing out one of his old friends, after the man insulted me at a formal gathering. This man had called my race into question with a slur. Dad swore up and down how respectable the man is and that I lacked "civility." This old fart of a racist happens to be a council bigwig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 127

Drive thru

By ToxicFamily - 17/02/2025 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my entitled brother-in-law called me unannounced as I was having lunch and asked if I had food for him and his wife. I said, "The food I have at home will only be enough for my husband." Now I'm the villain for not cooking enough for sudden unexpected mealtime visitors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 83

By nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 719

You deserved it 4 322

It's all balls to me

By anonymous - 01/12/2016 16:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 394

You deserved it 1 310

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 529

You deserved it 310

Cool beans

By Really? - 31/12/2016 01:54 - Australia - Homebush

Today, during an endless heat wave, I sat at my local pub having a beer. I was delighted as a cool sea breeze started to come through. I was less delighted when the sea breeze picked up and blew cigarette ash onto my sweaty face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 569

You deserved it 1 181

By FirstStringQB - 01/10/2011 22:45 - United States

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 288

You deserved it 4 745

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 03:59 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 910

You deserved it 5 788

By KBO - 08/06/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 077

You deserved it 43 464

By jaci - 24/07/2016 15:27 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 102

You deserved it 1 147

By Emptyspace - 25/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 643

You deserved it 4 190

By KillerChipmunk - 10/10/2016 23:54 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 870

You deserved it 771

KillerChipmunk tells us more.

KillerChipmunk 15

Friday 14 October 2016 21:30

Hey, OP here! First published post! I hadn't actually told them that I think it's the washer yet, next time I complain, I'm going to let them know. If they still don't fix it properly, I'm going to tell them I'll to do it myself. I've done some simple plumbing fixes like that before, so I don't think it'll be too hard or long a process. The main problem with fixing it myself is I'm in college and it's essentially an off campus dorm room (owned by the school, which kind of helps explain the quick fix mentality), and I don't have any tools here.

Spooked

By screamo - 02/05/2009 20:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 866

You deserved it 46 807

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 4 885

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 22:35 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 752

You deserved it 5 058

By Laundrylady - 18/08/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 479

You deserved it 71 530

By ThePidgeon - 19/10/2009 18:36 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was ordering food at McDonald's when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 239

You deserved it 7 791

By anonymous - 10/11/2015 22:15 - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his taser at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tased him for acting aggressively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 746

You deserved it 1 758

By RedFaced - 27/05/2016 00:11 - Netherlands - Capelle Aan Den Ijssel

Today, I discovered the effect the cream has that my mom gave me. It was for my acne and it worked, in a way. Instead of having a lot of little pimples, I now just have a few gigantic ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 197

You deserved it 820

By Tyler - 03/09/2012 09:37 - Australia - Killara

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 244

You deserved it 1 985

By oh, shit...... - 02/02/2016 20:27 - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 431

You deserved it 1 995

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 03:25 - United States

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 859

You deserved it 2 701

LOL

By iPhonekid - 27/05/2012 07:19 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back, saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 492

You deserved it 7 868

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 016

You deserved it 25 930

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 426

By um... what the fuck, miss? - 02/08/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 826

You deserved it 6 148

Cry for help

By Anonymous - 01/02/2024 18:00 - United States - Greenwich

Today, honestly, I feel like my life has lost meaning. At some certain point I have lost all emotion and am just covering myself with a mask of happiness. It feels like I’m just trying to escape my own reality, with my parents on the verge of divorce. Somewhere in the last few months it’s been getting worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 143

Cool cool cool

By Chris - 06/04/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 321

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FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, five minutes before closing, a woman came in to buy over $300 worth of clothing from the sales rack. My manager and I had to ring it all up, de-sensor it, fold it, bag it, etc. After it was all rung up, her credit card was declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 101

You deserved it 4 608

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 412

You deserved it 22 027

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 28 726

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 757

You deserved it 3 081

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 467

Today, my partner, our 5-month-old baby and I had to go to A&E because my idiot boyfriend mistook dishwasher Rinse Aid for cooking oil, and cooked a meal for us in it. As I'm breastfeeding, even our baby needed blood tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 740

You deserved it 458