Love

I was the bullet in the relationship

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 10:00

Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 369

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 08:00

Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 325

Date night

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I booked a restaurant and nice hotel for date night. We only get a few hours away from our baby, so we may as well squeeze in sexy time! I told my husband and he was more worried about the awkward early check out than excited for the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 248

God don't pay my bills

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 00:00

Today, I told my fiancé that I don’t believe in God, so I won’t be going to church anymore because I’ll be picking up the Sunday shift at work. I don’t have a fiancé anymore because I’m, “a godless heathen who will burn for eternity.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 563

They targeted gamers

By DSK - 09/01/2023 15:00

Today, my girlfriend once again insisted that she didn't have a problem with my gaming. Considering that every day I find my PC desk covered in junk, and all my consoles disconnected, somehow I don't think she's telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 317

Awkward phrasing

By Anonymous - 09/01/2023 12:00

Today, a blind guy asked me out, but since I'm already in a relationship I politely declined, saying, "Sorry, I'm already seeing someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 257

Social pariah

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 12:00

Today, I talked to exactly 0.0 people on Christmas, 0.0 people on New Year's, and I just checked my phone: The last call I received from anyone other than work or my tenant was October 29th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 711

Not guilty

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 004

You deserved it 3 073

Domino dancing

By Anonymous - 06/01/2023 18:00

Today, I watched the love of my life look me straight in the eye and lie to me with well-practised ease about where she spent last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 518

How ironic

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I'd gathered enough solid evidence to justify dumping my cheating girlfriend. When I turned up, she broke up with me before I had a chance to confront her. Why? Apparently I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 785

You deserved it 8 547

Tater tots everywhere

By Anonymous - 05/01/2023 09:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend watching Andrew Tate videos and agreeing with everything he was saying. I shared my opinion that Tate is a disgusting human, and my boyfriend said that of course I’d try to suppress the truth like a typical woman. Ladies, I think my boyfriend is broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 714

Time to bail

By Sadmomof2 - 04/01/2023 15:00

Today, during an argument, I finally told husband that I feel like he doesn’t love me or want me, but keeps me around because it’s easier since we have kids involved. I told him I would sleep in my son's room. He responded 15 min later saying he didn’t need me to. Needing and wanting are two different things. He doesn’t love me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 1 251

Asshat

By check your husband! - 04/01/2023 09:00

Today, I’ve been getting increasingly more threatening calls and texts all day from the wife of the guy I was seeing. I had no idea she existed, and even sent her screenshots of the texts he'd sent me saying he was single. It didn’t deter this psychopath one bit. Now I’m scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 489

Bad Yelp review

By notsohot - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 426

You deserved it 4 356

Quiet dumping is a thing now?

By RebeccaT - 04/01/2023 00:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend was “quiet dumping” me. He thought treating me like shit to the point of me leaving the relationship would be easier than him having to tell me he’s cheating on me. Apparently he didn’t want to “hurt my feelings” Well played, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 142

Not an Addams Family person

By Anonymous - 03/01/2023 09:00

Today, my girlfriend spend all day pouting that I wouldn't watch 'Wednesday' with her, despite my giving the pilot a chance and hating it. Yet when I choose a show, I usually get five seconds before, "What is this? I don't like it! Turn it off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 249

Hug me, but don't

By Help me - 03/01/2023 00:00

Today, I'm incredibly depressed because of touch-starvation. I also have haphephobia, the fear of being touched, in addition to crippling social anxiety. Why do I feel as though I was intentionally made to be as utterly miserable as possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 271

Overlap

By Wolverine Morningstar - 02/01/2023 18:00

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend for the first time in two years with the guy she told me "not to worry about" and they were celebrating their 3-year anniversary together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 147

Bankrolled

By Anon - 02/01/2023 12:00

Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 227

A method to her madness

By TheTruthFairy2023 - 01/01/2023 20:00 - United Kingdom - Andover

Today, I made it all the way up the stairs without collecting up all the shit my wife had left there during the morning. Instead of rewarding me for not falling over it, she cursed me for not understanding her puzzling redistribution system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 264

Out in the cold

By Mixta - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Roubaix

Today, my best friend showed me his New Year's Eve photos. Girls everywhere, booze flowing all over the place and all my friends were there. They still haven't realised that they didn't invite me. We've been friends for seven years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 340

You deserved it 3 616

Seasons greetings!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 09:00

Today, it was the first New Year's without my longtime girlfriend. I've never felt so sad before. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 219

Happy New Year

By feelin a lil left out - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I found out what it means to be the only single person in my group of friends. They had a New Year's party and didn't invite me, because they didn't want me to "feel alone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 586

You deserved it 1 756

These guys

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years finally agreed to marry me. As I went on with the proposal, her Grandma tried rejecting me by saying, "These guys have gangster friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 147

Get out!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 15:00

Today, during a small argument over clothes of all things, I totally lost my temper and broke up with my boyfriend. He is refusing to take me back and I’m now screwed as his wage paid about 60% of our joint bills. I may lose my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 2 450

You must be kidding

By Hurt - 30/12/2022 18:00

Today, my husband of 6 years told me he has a 5 year-old. In fact, she was conceived the night before our wedding. Apparently, the “one last time fuck as a single man” with his female bestie was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He doesn’t get why I’m not speaking to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 286

You deserved it 240

Power dynamic

By whole wheat or nothing - 30/12/2022 15:00

Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 339

Sometimes loving is the hardest thing

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 03:00 - United States - Mcdonough

Today, I just had to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, who I've been friends with for the past 12 years. She chased me in high school and we dated before for almost 2 years, but now I finally see what I should have: She's still in love her ex, who abandoned her 5 years ago. I've been living in another man's shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 139

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 475

Slice of Freudian slip

By Myrin - 29/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was talking to my wife about the pie she'd made and she was really leaning on the need to be reassured, so I said, "It was real good Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 355

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, because I left my wallet at home, I got arrested for "underage smoking." I'm 32 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 762

You deserved it 697

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 149

You deserved it 6 624

Today, I dressed cute to surprise my boyfriend of 2 years. Instead of being happy or impressed about it, he accused me of cheating and dressing up to impress a new guy he'd made up in his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 149

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 519

You deserved it 2 171

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 89 317

Today, I got offered an interview for a great job. My father then spent the entire dinner telling me how pointless it was, and how I should apply to the factory next door because I would spend all the extra money on gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 103