Love

Excuses, excuses

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 02:00

Today, I saw a girl making out with presumably her boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if she hadn’t told me she was asexual and didn’t like to be touched. The worst part is this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 355

Cheap

By Nator - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2-for-1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 772

You deserved it 5 266

Inferiority complex

By jonatthon - 30/10/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my girlfriend met my brother who, despite being 10 years older, is taller, smarter, slimmer, richer, more handsome, and just objectively better in every way. He always has been. An hour ago, she broke up with me. Meeting my brother convinced her she'd settled for me and could do better with almost anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 169

Classic line

By David - 29/10/2022 22:00

Today, after celebrating our 5 year anniversary, my girl told me that’s she loves me, but is not in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 109

How d'you like them apples?

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 14:00

Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 216

Personal preference or Fatphobia? You decide!

By IHateFakePpl - 29/10/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that losing 110 lbs causes people to start kissing your ass. The same people who told me to go fuck myself and didn’t give me the time of day before are now worshipping the ground I walk on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 308

Please don't do that

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulled away, goes, "OMNOMNOMNOM" then continued kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 365

You deserved it 22 555

Red flag

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 06:00

Today, I have a broken nose because my girlfriend saw I got a text from a woman called Gemma. Gemma is the name of my ex, so she smashed me in the face with a full cereal bowl. Funny thing, Gemma is also the name of my boss, who was texting me about a work thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 162

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, my mom, dad, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles came together to tell me they’re fine that I’m a lesbian, so I don’t have to be in the closet anymore. I wasn’t aware I was lesbian, I’ve been happily using men's penises since I was 19, but apparently I’m a secret lesbian. Go figure… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 204

Get a load of this guy

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 14:00

Today my dad asked if he could walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I was just too speechless to respond. He asked me on my doorstep, at 2 a.m., which was also our first ever meeting since he abandoned my mom when she was 5 months pregnant with me, and just disappeared for 28 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 95

Fight club

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was out with my girlfriend when my ex-father-in-law, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, saw us. I don’t know what he was doing out by himself, but he still thinks I’m married to his daughter, so when he saw us he thought I was cheating and knocked my tooth out with his walking stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 93

Fork in the road

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 23:00 - United States - Blanchard

Today, one of my best friends, someone I considered family, and whose kid I see as my nephew, picked a piece of shit dude she’s been seeing for 3 months over me. And no, I didn’t make her choose. He decided to be an ass to me and when I wasn’t OK with it, she just let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 191

Poor choices were made

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 22:00

Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 186

We met a lot later!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Warsaw

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 394

You deserved it 53 068

Alexa, play "Some Things Last a Long Time" by Daniel Johnston

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 12:00

Today, it's been one week since I found out that my ex got married. Since then, every night I dream about her breaking up with me again. Apparently, time doesn't heal all wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 175

Crystal mommies rise up

By Pinkstone - 26/10/2022 14:00

Today, my husband got me a birthstone bracelet for my birthday. I open the box and it’s a Ruby bracelet - July birthday. I was supposed to have a Pink Tourmaline bracelet since I have an October birthday. Turns out he confused me with the skank he’s banging. Her birthday's in July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 232

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 134

Great relationship you got there…

By anon - 26/10/2022 00:00

Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 521

Dutch courage

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 830

You deserved it 5 030

Casual homophobia

By GuyWhoCameOutFinally - 25/10/2022 16:00 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, I came out to my parents and siblings as gay. They were very accepting and asked me why I waited until I was 25 to do so. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was their own homophobic remarks that kept me closeted since I realized it at 14, and that a previous coming-out to a parent was dismissed as 'a phase'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 277

Don't hate the player…

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 07:00 - United States - Palos Heights

Today, it's been 3 months since I've been talking to a guy. He told me that he doesn't want the responsibility of being in a relationship. He likes me and would still like to have sex, but not ready right now for something serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 311

Lonely

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 01:00 - Nigeria

Today, I went to a party with 5 of my friends. Within five minutes, they'd all paired up and gone. Then it was just me, drinking my pain away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 139

Highlight of the wedding

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 22:00

Today, despite his promise not to, my dad got completely shitfaced at my wedding reception. When we found him, he was passed out on the toilet with his pants down, penis out, and he’d shit all over himself, the toilet, and the floor. I thought I could trust him just this once, but now he’s dead to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 201

Unlucky in love

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 10:00 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 165

The Reid technique

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 00:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend if maybe she wanted to actually leave the house for date night. All I got was, “Why? We have takeaway menus.” When I insisted we leave the house for once, she got suspicious, like I was trying to hide something bad. She’s not talking to me until I admit what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 145

Snitch

By Sam - 23/10/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend trusted me enough to tell me that she's trans. I have no problem with this, the problem is my sister overheard her. She ran and told our parents, who are also our landlords, so now either I dump the woman I love or we'll both be homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 327

Timing matters

By efff my life. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 153

You deserved it 4 428

Good one

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 12:00 - United States - Lewisburg

Today, I found out that my friend's adult daughter Renee is actually just him catfishing his friends with actress Jessica Jade Andres's pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 155

Scarred for life

By Coco - 23/10/2022 10:00

Today, my son confessed to me that the reason he'd rather die single is because my husband and I are so toxic to each other, as we end up arguing over even petty things, yet we still refuse to divorce after 30 years. Therefore, we're to blame for "leaving him traumatized and terrified of marrying". He is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 2 185

Whispering wind

By dabull - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 716

You deserved it 4 114

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook when I noticed that she has an album of pictures for each member of the family. All except me. Even the dog has his own album. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 606

You deserved it 2 754

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 349

You deserved it 4 152

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 3 053

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 830

You deserved it 1 972

Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 793

You deserved it 607

Today, my boyfriend gave me a used Nintendo Switch for my birthday. I got mad that he gave me a used one, since I'm worth more than that. Now I have no boyfriend and no Switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 2 501