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By Brandi - 07/02/2023 02:00

Today, I found out through 23andMe that my ex-husband and father of my children is my 5th cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 221

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 2 012

Show some empathy

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, and for the past 3 days, my sister has been whining and crying about her “breakup” with her “boyfriend”. It’s the most annoying thing ever and I haven’t been able to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 650

Good riddance

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 16:00

Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 165

All the Pringle ladies

By looks over personality I guess - 05/02/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my mean, nasty, arrogant, bully of a sister is getting married for the second time. Meanwhile, I’ve always been kind, caring, considerate… and single as a damn Pringle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 239

Denial

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my fiancé can't wear his ring at his parents house, because his mom and dad don’t want him to marry me, and it has nothing to do with me. They don’t like my parents, so I’m not good enough for their son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 637

You deserved it 285

Shot from both sides

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 12:00

Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 211

The best laid plans…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 156

Guns don't kill people, rappers do

By guns save lives, so does gun safety - 03/02/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 288

Meme life

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 22:00

Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 145

We need to talk…

By HeatherRosure18 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Glendale Heights

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 639

You deserved it 7 622

Kicked to the curb

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 10:00

Today, I kicked my partner of 8 years out after confirming she was indeed going speed dating while keeping me occupied, going to couples' therapy, and doing work on our rental property. All a ruse. She's a tricky one, my EX missus. Nah bitch, nah. Take the lies elsewhere and we're flushing all these years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 135

Back off

By Cassidy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my crush didn't make up a fake girlfriend to get me jealous; he made her up as a way to tell me to back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 516

You deserved it 36 660

The GOP approves

By DianneG - 01/02/2023 02:00

Today, my 36 year-old ex-husband is engaged to my 18 year-old little sister. She’s graduating from high school in May of this year. Our divorce was finalized 3 months ago. My life should be a reality drama show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 132

Hefty

By Fatty - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 782

You deserved it 16 301

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 857

Denied

By Blocked - 31/01/2023 14:30

Today, after months of talking to this guy on Instagram and convinced this was a sure thing, he wanted proof I was real and not catfishing him. I sent him a picture of me holding a paper with his username. He replied, “Sorry, I didn’t know you were a big girl. I need a healthy girl who takes care of herself.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 403

No brainer

By Viscerion - 31/01/2023 06:30

Today, I need to know whether it's better to be in a relationship in which I'm not loved and have no intimacy, or live on my own with no family or friends. if I were alone though, I could live in my underwear and eat cereal for dinner if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 180

Can't win

By Viscerion - 31/01/2023 00:30

Today, I made breakfast for the family. Perfect. Did all the Laundry. Great. Drove the one and a half hour round trip to take my stepdaughter to work. Blah. Finished off by doing some housework and cooking dinner. The dinner wasn't perfect, and my wife told me that for all the good I do, I ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 123

Violence is rarely the answer

By anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spencer

Today, I found out that my crush of a few years likes me. How? Her boyfriend told me, followed by a punch in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 042

You deserved it 1 975

WTF?

By Viscerion - 31/01/2023 00:30 - Australia - Albury

Today, my wife, in all seriousness, told me she believed I am autistic. With all due respect to autistic people out there, WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 256

Hyper self-awareness

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 23:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 484

No kidding

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 11:30

Today, after trying for five years to get pregnant, I just found out that my husband had a vasectomy and he didn't tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 244

Conundrum

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 14:30 - Australia - Albury

Today, I'm in love with a beautiful Russian woman. We are so compatible. However, I'm in a relationship though, in which my partner won't touch me or tell me she loves me. I'm in trouble every day for anything and everything. I'm faithful even though I've only had sex maybe 5 times in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 947

Overreaction much?

By soljaboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 171

You deserved it 154 489

Sherri Papini has a lot to answer for

By FtHisSHet - 27/01/2023 17:30

Today, my wife faked being kidnapped. She composed a ransom letter and made calls from her phone screaming for help frantically and hanging up. I got the cops involved. Turns out it was all a scam, because she “wanted to see what I’d do” because apparently she “hasn’t been feeling loved” lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 188

The betrayal!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 11:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years left me for the woman I had previously expressed concerns about. I wouldn't feel so bad if he hadn't dumped me and then got with her not even two hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 170

Love that for you

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Aubrey

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 361

You deserved it 6 890

Surprise surprise!

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 26/01/2023 08:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, my girlfriend's parents have been having issues with her older brother and her mom called to say she was flying over to stay with my girlfriend. I'm twice my girlfriend's age and she hasn't told her parents about me. She also sublet out her apartment and we have been living together for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 926

Hunbot on the loose

By Cardy - 26/01/2023 11:30

Today, I had a blind date with someone a friend said would be a "perfect match" with me. Instead, that "perfect match" tried to get me to sign up to their scammy food supplement MLM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 102

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it for "tax reasons." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 602

You deserved it 3 083

This is basically me during every conflict I've ever witnessed.

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 113

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 141

You deserved it 4 284

Today, it's the 11th anniversary of my dog's adoption, who died a few months ago. I miss her and can’t stop crying. I’m very sick and don’t know if I’ll ever be fit to have a dog again. Loneliness sucks big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 121

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 716

You deserved it 4 127

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 220

You deserved it 18 858