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By PIGaming - 28/10/2013 05:35 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 723

You deserved it 8 679

PIGaming tells us more.

PIGaming 21

Thursday 31 October 2013 5:50

Hey all, im OP (although as my first time ever commenting, I hope this actually works!) Of course, in the end, my daughter fell asleep. although it was around 1am, a time I thought no five year old was physically capable of acheiving. You might say it was almost worse the next day, as she was very grumpy and tired! I forbid my son from attending a party (supposedly the 'party of the year'), and have spoken to his school who are arranging a meeting with him to discuss ways of bettering his homework skills and general motivation. Of course he probably despises of me, but I dont want him to look back on school like I have and regret he didn't work hard enough, let alone AT ALL. Thanks for all the comments, and hopefully I can interact more on this site with the community.

Productivity

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 09:05 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 722

You deserved it 8 911

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 722

You deserved it 4 405

By Burnt - 11/05/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 722

You deserved it 7 566

Late night

By feltuponthe69 - 08/07/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 721

You deserved it 10 481

By Good choice cat - 24/02/2014 19:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 720

You deserved it 4 517

By Useless training - 11/07/2014 06:04 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 718

You deserved it 4 765

By wat - 20/09/2013 05:52 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 718

You deserved it 3 305

Everyday sexism

By nerdywaitress - 18/10/2013 05:14 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 716

You deserved it 5 055

Circular

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 715

You deserved it 2 922

You little knob

By keelah - 27/06/2014 21:57 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 8 604

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 3 451

By Parentalfailure - 22/07/2013 21:06 - United States - Garner

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 710

You deserved it 5 647

Parentalfailure tells us more.

Parentalfailure 3

Tuesday 23 July 2013 18:12

This is OP, here to clear a few things up. For the person who asked, it was a male/female couple. He had pulled out a knife on the girl and that set the guy into attack mode or something, since he started punching my son in the face. The girl pushed him down and then the guy pinned him till the cops showed up. Yes, the call came from him asking for bail, which I did NOT post. He has been involved in illegal activities since he was 17, and this was the final straw. His trial starts in about a week (this happened about six months ago) and the prosecution is going for armed robbery. I hate to say it but I hope they get a conviction, he needs a wake up call. For those who posted supportive comments thank you, for those who blamed me, it is probably my fault for how I raised him. Hope this clears some things up. OP

By Forgotten - 06/09/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 708

You deserved it 4 083

Not respected anymore

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, as a respected artist, I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 707

You deserved it 16 520

Red flag

By Ceej - 30/07/2011 21:06 - United States

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 702

You deserved it 6 683

By TeddyBearKiller - 07/10/2013 01:11 - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 699

You deserved it 3 300

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 698

You deserved it 21 067

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 698

You deserved it 10 794

By Cat Piss - 15/12/2013 16:58 - United States - Lavon

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 6 888

Sweaty

By not_very_smart - 24/07/2013 06:44 - United States

Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 4 850

You're kidding me?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 696

You deserved it 3 357

By kewlcat - 16/07/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 695

You deserved it 4 988

kewlcat tells us more.

kewlcat 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 22:35

ok , first of all, its not fake. second of all, i was actually sleeping, more just like, resting, with my eyes closed. also, i live in vancouver which is just above seattle, so we have beaches and we dont get snow. aaand yes it is really funny to see, just make sure you don't let them get you back ;)