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Desperate

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 12:00

Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 64

Drive on

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 09:00

Today, as a breakdown technician, I was sent to a woman whose jeep wouldn’t start. The tank was empty, and when I told her she got pissy, then calmed down and asked where to buy spare tires because her jeep didn’t have one. I actually had to show her the tire in the round storage case on the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 61

Winning, so much winning

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 15:00

Today, and for the past 6 months of unemployment, I’ve realized my life is spiraling downward fast. Years of hard work, sacrifice, honors from top schools, and constant validation, JUST TO GET BRUTALLY ASSFUCKED BY THE GODDAMN JOB MARKET. It feels like everything I worked for went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 111

He hath returned

By Come to think of it.... it does! - 09/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom gave me the litany of a lifetime for raising a devil child. Why so? She and my daughter who is 7 years-old attended mass, and after the priest told the parable of The Prodigal Son, she raised her hand. The priest approached, asked and put the mic on her, and she said, "Sorry Father, but that story sucks! Its all about favoritism!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 96

Relax

By Alice - 09/03/2026 22:00

Today, I felt so awful in my belly, I went to a massage therapist for help. She, like me, thought it was the stress of some recent family issues. It was more than that. Her kneading of my gut indeed relieved me by helping me have a HUGE go. One scream and a four foot turd later, I realized I'd been constipated. No longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 145

Heartless

By Out of Pocket to all! - 12/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was reminded of my ex who works and now lives in Manama, Bahrain. How? My sister and her in-laws called me a heartless dick for not being worried about her. We broke up 15 years ago, she's a pediatrician and an OB-GYN, and the ONLY reason why they care is because they used to get free services and meds from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 83

Very irritable bowel syndrome

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 09:00

Today my wife made something from ultra salty fish she bought, and it was horrible. It set off my sensitive bowels within minutes. Now 15 hours later I’ve just had my first dry fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 65

Trapped

By FamilyIsTheBest - 11/03/2026 20:00

Today, I am forced to throw a baby shower for my entitled and witch of a sister in law. She and her husband have been making my life living hell for more than 10 years now. What their hellspawn would do, God only knows. No, I can't walk away. It's a cultural thing. I'm trapped until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 125

Be quiet

By type quiet - 11/03/2026 00:00

Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 109

Odd family

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce because I returned custody of my nieces and nephew to my brother, who has spent the last few years recovering from a horrible car accident. My wife wanted us to keep and adopt them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 46

Take a look at this shit

By Sara - 13/03/2026 15:00

Today, I went to the doctor for advice on the horrid diarrhea problem I have, because I go every thirty minutes. Luckily, I had two very big stool samples to give my doctor when I got there. Why? Due to slow drivers and hitting ALL the red lights, it took an hour to get to the doctor's. Life sure is good when it's easygoing, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 58

Madcap plans

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 15:00

Today, my wife inherited her grandparents' farm in Hawaii and she is now dead-set on uprooting our kids and everything, and moving the family there. I keep telling her that just isn't feasible or financially possible, but she won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 84

Well well well…

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 09:00

Today, my ex-wife's kids, who I dumped alongside her and completely cut ties with when I found out they weren't mine, found me on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 359

RIP MIL

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law died but my husband still insists that we go on our family spring break vacation. I don't want to because I loved my MIL and our kids are absolutely distraught and don't want to go anymore, plus we would miss the funeral if we went. But he refuses to cancel or postpone. He's being selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 63

Trumpet solo

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 12:00

Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 61

Dope

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 03:00

Today, someone told me to be the adult in my kid's unexplained shunning of me. She’s 30. I just spent 3k on a graduation party. No thanks from her. Yes, I’m a dope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 133

It's not a phase, Mom

By goldstar lesbo - 12/03/2026 03:00

Today, I split with my abusive girlfriend and moved back in with my parents. Now my mom won't stop pressuring me to get with a man and have a million kids. I hate men, absolutely despise the disgusting pigs, and wouldn't be with one if we were the only people on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 562

TMI

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 84

We don't need no education

By Anonymous - 09/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer going to be homeschooled and that they're putting me in regular school. I don't want to because my generation is so fucking dumb, but they won't listen to me. I won't fit in at all but they just dismiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 445

Hard pass

By Uhhh no - 12/03/2026 12:00

Today, my husband drunkenly confessed that he has a shit fetish and wants to watch me take a dump in the bathtub while he jerks off. Guess him saying he "didn't like kinky things" was a lie, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 47

Acceptance

By Leesa - 15/03/2026 15:00

Today, it's my 16th birthday, a time meant to be a big day, so it felt right to tell my family I'm a lesbian. My dad and two brothers were fine with it; my bros hugged me to show support, and dad said he'd hang with me if I needed a pal to discuss girls with. My mom, well… who knew being gay made me "a bitch who betrayed her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 49

You believed him??

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that my ex-boyfriend didn't cheat on me with my ex-best friend like he said. He just wanted an excuse to break up. To make matters worse, when I tried to talk to her, she slapped me and gave me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 104

Oh nooooo!

By Grow up - 13/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband has been sulking because he got the urge to play Runescape and discovered that his old account was hacked and he lost all his fake money and items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 305

In and out

By Maddison - 09/03/2026 09:00

Today, I had a double cheeseburger with a side of onion rings for lunch. Thirty minutes later my body reacted by giving me a bellyache and a HUGE need to shit. The good news, it was a normal pooh; it's just when I eat big, I go big. Bad. I was in his car with my guy when I "let go". He definitely noticed & smelled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 410

Shiny happy people

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 09:00

Today, it was picture day and I had gotten my hair really nice and my outfit was perfect. Then, disaster: I was fidgeting with those squishy things filled with water and glitter, and it suddenly exploded. One second I'm playing with it, the next it's exploded all over my face. It's safe to say I truly shined in that picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 140

Sorry about your dick, bro

By footinmouth - 14/03/2026 22:00

Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 295

Criminal behavior

By Get ur own spot fuckr - 11/03/2026 03:00

Today, I loosened the lug nuts on a guy's tires since he won't stop parking in my assigned spot and the rental authority refused to do anything. His tire flew off as he was tearing down the highway and he totaled his car. Now I might get charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 060

Pump and dump

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 20:00

Today, the judge sided with my ex-wife in our divorce, even though the stupid bitch fell for some crypto scam and lost all our money and left us destitute. Apparently, she's an "innocent victim" and I'm a bad person for not standing by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 29

Mistaken identity

By Crushed - 09/03/2026 15:00

Today, I saw a man at the gym glancing at me. I went over and said, "Are you ogling me?" kind of low key flirtatiously. He said, "No, I'm working out. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 610

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 00:00

Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 372

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The Top

Today, after I quit a career job in my 30s for job in natural medicine, 100s of thousands in student debt, it's not as lucrative as I thought. No health insurance, savings, or pension. My midlife friends are on autopilot to retiring. I'm just praying I don't get sick so I can work until my 80s and die. Apparently not the best choice, and sucks to think about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 729

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 852

You deserved it 13 090

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 586

You deserved it 6 967

Today, I got home from work and face-planted into my sofa because I hate my job, suffer from depression, recently lost my wife to cancer, and a host of other BS. As I face-planted it turned out that my sister invited herself over and had fell asleep, curled up under a blanket. Our heads collided at 30 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 96

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 296

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 434

You deserved it 8 075