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Tech bro

By Pauly - 16/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was showing my new “smart home” setup to my friends. I said, “Alexa, dim the lights.” Nothing happened. So, louder: “ALEXA, DIM THE LIGHTS.” Still nothing. I kept yelling, getting increasingly dramatic, until one of my friends said, “Bro, your Alexa is unplugged.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 516

Chancer

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 22:00

Today, on day one of opening my first restaurant, a customer complained his chicken fried steak contained only steak and no chicken. I thought he was taking the piss but no, he was just that dumb, and he refused to leave until he got a refund despite having eaten it all. I had to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 71

Brain fog

By Wilmot - 22/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a coffee. The cashier asked, “Hot or iced?” I panicked and said, “Yes.” We both just stared at each other until she said, “So… which one?” I wanted to drive away and never return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 334

Have a good one!

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 20:00

Today, I texted my friend “Happy Birthday!” with balloons and confetti emojis. She replied, “It’s next week, but thanks for being early.” I’ve been her friend for ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 329

Just go for it!

By :( - 31/10/2025 09:00

Today, I've never celebrated Halloween or Christmas because my super-duper religious parents forbade me from doing so. Now I'm an adult and really want to make up for the childhood memories I was brutally robbed of, but I know people will laugh at me and say I'm too old if I try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 98

Policy of truth

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 03:00

Today, I spent some time talking to a girl I'm interested in. All signs point to a "no" if I asked her out, but the repeated shifts between chatting like we're the only people on Earth, to feeling like she doesn't know I exist when I randomly experience radio silence, is an emotional rollercoaster I'd like to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 172

Spooky season ain't over

By Brendon - 05/11/2025 15:00

Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 94

Average "alternative medicine" enjoyer

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 09:00

Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 91

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was going over my vaccinations when I spotted that I hadn't gotten my Covid vaccine since last year. Not a big deal, my doctor hadn't made a mention of it on the last visit, and I got my flu shot last month. At least it wouldn't be a big deal if my friend hadn't tested positive for Covid last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 282

Broken promises

By Perky_p!nk - 19/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got a message from a woman who reached out to me to let me know that my boyfriend is going behind my back and getting on dating sites and apps, begging women, or at least her, for sex, and to meet up with him in our fucking apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 71

Everything must go

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that I’m a loser. My coworkers have hit 9k and 16k in total sales, and I’ve never even come close to those numbers. I swear I work hard, but everything just sucks. I fucking hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 122

Keep fit

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 09:00

Today, I found out why I was gradually getting worsening hip pain in those muscles. Turns out I was slouching too much and it had finally caught up with me. I'm only 39. Nothing like needing to go to physical therapy to correct my posture before I turn 50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 147

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 22:00

Today, my parents, who always bitch that they don't see me enough since we live in different states, completely ignored me during their early Thanksgiving visit and used me as a free hotel for my younger siblings. I maybe spent four hours with them during their three day stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 83

Prodigy

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 12:00

Today, I have in my living room a Rubik’s cube I’ve been trying to solve for over a year. I just got home and it was sat on the floor solved. Apparently my wife gave it to her nephew to play with and he solved it in about four minutes, then got bored. He’s 8 and I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 189

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was thinking again how I literally haven't had any real life friends for years. I know I don't interact with others much, especially recently, but why am I even ignored at school? Do I deserve this like people keep saying? I really like my online friends but why does everyone but me have someone IRL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 115

Proportional response miscalculation

By Sweet Shawarma - 05/12/2025 20:00

Today, I got served. I'm being sued by a porch pirate, whom my brother claims to have taken care of, to never steal from me ever again. What did he do? He caught her in the act and stopped her, by loading and pointing a shotgun on her face. Oh? The package in question, a kiddie eraser set priced roughly $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 66

Misophonia

By Blech - 07/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was supervising a training exercise at work, where everyone had to wear microphones. One guy was congested and I got to hear six hours of sniffling, snorting, coughing, throat clearing, and mucus blowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 70

Room by room

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 09:00

Today, we're a family of four moving houses. My husband wants me to copy each room and move it to the new house, paste it there. Literally. He doesn't understand why it's impossible with kids to have the bedroom at one house and bathroom at another. According to him, we can fully finish this move in four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 102

WAKEY WAKEY

By mindy - 11/12/2025 03:00

Today, I set my phone alarm to play a calm piano song so I’d wake up peacefully. Instead, Bluetooth connected to the speaker in my roommate’s room and blasted my alarm at full volume at 6 a.m. for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 319

I'm out

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 22:00

Today, is another day that my wife will choose anything over sex. I don't want to flirt with her anymore. If I can't have a normal sex life, I would rather embrace celibacy. I love her and was flirting with her daily up until now, but if she needs some other kind of confirmation to feel sexy, she can go ahead and find it. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 136

Relaxed

By Anonymous - 16/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 149

Overreaction

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 00:00

Today, after getting fed up with my girlfriend ignoring me about drinking caffeine while carrying my baby, I tried to fix it by secretly switching her coffee with decaf. Apparently she found out, before telling me she’s leaving me for someone “less controlling.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 849

Write lists!

By No list - 23/12/2025 12:00

Today, I went to the grocery store for three items. I left with two full bags and forgot the one thing I actually needed. I didn’t realize until I got home, unpacked everything, and stared at the empty counter in disbelief. Next on my list: start making lists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 352

I'm a mess

By I'm awkward - 28/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tripped going up the stairs at work, caught myself, and laughed it off. Then I tripped again on the very next step. The same bunch of coworkers watched both times. No one laughed the second time. Neither did I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 134

Many such cases!

By Tired son - 30/12/2025 15:00

Today, my parents won’t shop at stores they think are "woke" anymore. Now they drive 35 minutes extra to a different grocery store, complain about gas the whole way, and pay double for basics. Somehow this is still the previous government’s fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 114

Am I still here?

By Embarassed - 01/01/2026 09:00

Today, I laughed at a joke in a group chat. No one else reacted. After five minutes, I realized I’d replied to a message from last week. I had to also pretend I hadn't noticed and sat in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 166

Protect your pipes

By Sam - 03/01/2026 03:00

Today, my upstairs neighbor's pipe burst because they forgot to close their porch door and, well, Wisconsin winter. My apartment is flooded and I'm spending my little money on a hotel. I think I'm homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 62

Brat winter

By Single again - 04/01/2026 22:00

Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 106

I could be your girlfriend

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 12:00

Today, I hate that my best friend has a boyfriend, who doesn't even treat her right by the way. I could treat her way better, she's all I've ever dreamed of. Too bad she's straight. Too bad I'm straight. I might be in love with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 447

Late stage capitalism

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 00:00

Today, I helped pay my mom's monthly electric and gas bill so she wouldn't have it shut off, since the company wouldn't accept her specific kind of card as payment, and the cash advance they could get was for less than half of the amount. Yes, I double-checked it wasn't a scam. It was for nearly $280 and I'm on SSI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 89

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The Top

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year-old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 173

You deserved it 8 927

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 3 566

Today, I've been binge-watching a certain Twitch/YouTube streamer. I love his political insights, but I've noticed he keeps saying, "On accident." It grinds my gears so much, I had to go outside and listen to birds chirping instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 584

Today, I went into labor. I called my mother to ask her to drive me to the hospital. She wanted me to wait for her to take a nap first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 962

You deserved it 1 074

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 289

You deserved it 3 507

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 842

You deserved it 8 446