The Top

This is OP. I approached them both long before they made they affair public. (Which they denied) But he literally sang the song to me to make sure I knew. I walked out before it was over.

Gender bending

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 16:59

Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 207

By fineididntwantkidsanyway - 02/12/2012 23:39 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 926

You deserved it 4 542

By myparentsarehoes - 03/08/2009 16:33 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 368

You deserved it 5 775

Morality?

By Grossed Out - 29/12/2011 08:16 - United States

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 883

You deserved it 3 140

Daily news

By tj85 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 577

You deserved it 2 691

By Tao26 - 10/11/2013 22:06 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 240

You deserved it 7 571

Tao26 tells us more.

Tao26 6

Monday 11 November 2013 11:08

My exact words were "Hey, your ears wiggle when you answer questions, haha. That's cute." Not the smoothest thing to say obviously, but I guess I should have kept my comment to myself.

Gummy

By ming - 19/08/2018 14:30

Today, despite being 22 and having near-perfect dental hygiene, I was diagnosed with receding gums and can only eat soft food for the rest of my life. Then the dentist told me that this typically only happens to people over fifty who don’t take care of their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 268

By WritingWrongs - 25/11/2012 13:28 - United States

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 692

You deserved it 1 872

WritingWrongs tells us more.

WritingWrongs 8

Tuesday 27 November 2012 14:49

But the dead bird I got this year was extra special!

By Anonymoose - 25/12/2011 11:39 - Switzerland

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 639

You deserved it 55 513

By WiltedFlower - 31/07/2009 16:02 - United States

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 269

You deserved it 6 389

The big reveal

By yeahthatsme - 30/07/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 962

You deserved it 29 405

By DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE - 22/11/2012 21:03 - United States - Schertz

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 811

You deserved it 1 980

Pampered

By really karen?! - 29/09/2021 20:00 - United States

Today, I had to place a call home because a student was late every single day. The mom rudely replied, “Yeah well she doesn’t really like getting up in the mornings. Can’t you just wait and start class like 30 minutes later?” Now I have to have a conference with this spoiled brat and her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 109

All heart

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss docked my hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 2 624

Forbidden

By grounded - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phones at the table rule" and took my phone away until I could learn "proper table manners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 596

You deserved it 48 108

Graded

By df22 - 03/07/2020 20:08

Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 164

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 08:02

Today, I discovered that my work's new phone system automatically takes people off hold the very second you pick up the phone. I discovered this after picking up the phone and complaining to my workmates about the annoying customer I had on the line for a full minute, all while he listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 2 640

****** around, found out

By I blame Youtube - 05/01/2023 00:00

Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 714

By kittyslayer - 15/12/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 038

You deserved it 3 890

Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 142

Abuse

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 17:01

Today, I was taking Zoom classes. We live in a one-bedroom apartment, which means I could hear my mom and dad fighting. I didn't notice that my mic wasn't muted. Everyone in my class now thinks that CPS needs to be called to my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 272

Tasty

By sleepysophie - 19/10/2013 15:04 - United States - Helena

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 629

You deserved it 5 570

Empty gestures

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 02:01

Today, my boss held a staff meeting to talk about how the Covid-19 pandemic has made us stronger, that all of us are family. Later, my car broke down after work, she drove by, saw me stranded on the road and we made eye contact. I thought she was going to help me, but she drove right on by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 144

What a question…

By Anonymous - 04/02/2015 03:53 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 011

You deserved it 47 733

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 246

You deserved it 310

Today, I was skating to school and a car stopped then when I was skating across, then another car came and hit me and I went flying.. Her one response was ,"Oops, sorry, didn't see you." Everyone else saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 141

Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 088

You deserved it 796

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 487

You deserved it 6 437

Today, as soon as I put my card into an ATM, the words "Out of Order" popped up and it would not return my card. Since I was at the bank, I got a free replacement. Trying to draw money again the second machine did the same thing and a third card costs more than what I have in my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 614

You deserved it 512

Today, my husband is leaving me for another woman because, and I quote, “She can ride dick longer than two minutes and doesn’t have two chins looking down on me while doing it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 330