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Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 66

One thing at a time

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, I stuck my house key up my nose by accident. Why? I was taking them out to unlock the door and needed to straighten my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 297

Relax

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 152

Meritocracy, huh?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 19:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, as a teacher, I saw a younger boy kick an older boy in the crotch and I reported it in our online system. Despite typical consequences for violence (automatic suspension), the department head, a drinking buddy of the boy's parents, gave him only a single detention. Now, the department head is harassing me for reporting the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 91

Hangry

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 19:00 - Canada

Today, McDonald's screwed up my order 3 whole times. GIVE ME MY NUGGETS PLEASE. HOW CAN SOMEONE MAGICALLY FORGET 40 NUGGETS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 164

It's the big T

By Annoyed - 28/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment building to drive to work. I walked up to my car when I noticed someone had written "FUCK ELON" on the hood. I guess some protesters can't spell, which explains how they'd confused "Toyota" for "Tesla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 75

Retromania

By #ThanksObama - 02/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to buy groceries and got hit with a wave of nostalgia… not because of the products, but because I remember when a carton of eggs didn’t cost as much, if not more, than a gallon of gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 112

It's over

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I took part in India’s giant emergency drill. I hid in a recycling bin for two hours straight. No one ever came to find me. It turns out the drill was only 20 minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 419

Stuck

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 02:00 - China - Shenzhen

Today, I’ve been unemployed for a year since graduating. I haven’t been able to find a job or feel any joy in my life, and have been stuck at home, completely relying on my parents, but now they’re gonna kick me out. I’ve turned into a complete failure, I can’t even kill myself because I’m not brave enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 194

Heavy load

By Anonymous - 18/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom is mad at me because, at her insistence, I got a company to install a stairlift for her due to the pain in her legs, and after buying it and getting it installed, it turns out she’s too obese for it. It can carry me and Dad, but with her it just makes a grinding noise and refuses to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 114

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 06:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I threw a get together and one of my friends came. She recently lost a good friend. It made me realise how selfish I’ve been to want to end things, and I can’t imagine seeing her sob into someone else’s arms about me. I feel terrible, I love her…am I horrible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 416

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 05:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, my wife had a dream that I cheated on her with a girl from my work named Marie. She told me that she wants me to quit my job and get a new one, just to avoid that from ever actually happening. There is nobody named Marie at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 70

Happiest day of my life

By Stevey - 17/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, during a moment of silence at a wedding, my phone rang at full volume. My ringtone? The Jurassic Park theme. Everyone turned to stare as I fumbled desperately to shut it off. The bride spent the rest of the ceremony giving me the side-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 685

Fun fun fun

By But I love sex - 21/08/2025 03:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 950

Really specific gripe with road rules

By Toolegittoquit - 26/08/2025 03:00 - Canada - West Kelowna

Today, my girlfriend, who I really liked, dumped me after I sent proof of Canada’s government supported merge-like-a-zip campaign, because she thinks that zip-mergers are just people taking advantage of others. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 116

Get out of jail free card

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom was diagnosed autistic, therefore thinks we aren’t allowed to be mad at her for anything she does from here on out or things she did before. Odd, I didn’t know that beating, neglecting and humiliating your children on a near daily basis was an autistic trait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 84

Cooked

By Lonely - 07/09/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 93

Go away

By Anonymous - 13/09/2025 03:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I got a text from an unknown number that just said, “I’m outside.” Thinking it was a prank, I wrote back, “Cool, I’m inside. Stay there forever.” Ten minutes later, the food delivery guy left, and I never got my dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 864

Home sweet home

By readytomove - 18/09/2025 12:00

Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 48

Name the artist!

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a concert, I tried to film my favorite song for Instagram. I sang along dramatically, screamed the chorus, and danced like no one was watching. When I rewatched the video later, I realized I had my phone camera flipped, recording my sweaty, overexcited face the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 555

Fonzie

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and tried to discreetly take a breath mint. The little tin slipped from my hands, bounced off my shoe, and scattered mints everywhere. Everyone stared as I bent over, frantically picking them up, muttering, “I swear I’m usually cool.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 301

Nasty

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 22:00

Today, I begged the people at my new job not to call my current boss for a reference because he is a vindictive dog shite. They called him for a reference, he tanked me, they believed him and withdrew my job offer. My boss also sacked me for disloyalty, thus proving he’s a vindictive dog shite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 98

Final fantasy

By Anonymous - 14/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I have caught my boyfriend masturbating by himself over a dozen times since Xmas, so god knows how many times he’s done it without me knowing. I asked him about it, and it turns out a woman he went to high school with, and had a huge crush on, recently became a porn actress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 189

You OK, dude?

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 18/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I got home from work after working 16 hours straight. I was naked on the toilet, just about to get in the shower, scrolling through my phone when I nodded off and FaceTimed someone by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 346

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 14:00 - United States - Clifton

Today, I got the chance to confront the guy who raped me when we were teenagers. Not only did he not remember me, he genuinely had no idea he'd done anything wrong, and called me a lunatic before walking away. The look of utterly sincere bafflement on his face is seared into my memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 135

Mouth malfunction

By Melanie - 08/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 527

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I realized that whether it takes me 3 minutes or 3 hours to get ready, my husband always has the same reaction, “Uh… yeah babe, you look fine.” Thanks for the confidence boost babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 432

Are ya winning, son?

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son has taken over the bathroom, crying because he almost lost his virginity but finished in 10 seconds in his pants. I’d have more sympathy for him except I’ve got IBS and the other 4 people who live here all need to pee. If he doesn’t come out soon, I’ll have to kick the door in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 96

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 06/04/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I organised a birthday party for myself. There was supposed to be about 20 people coming. Not a single person showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 83

Preapproved

By Anonymous - 08/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 77

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 541

You deserved it 3 391

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 128

You deserved it 541

Today, my best friend, who I speak to pretty much all day, every single day, started dating someone and blocked and ghosted me. I guess my only close friend wasn't such a good friend after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 72

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 141

You deserved it 4 891

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back, and lying about where he was was, out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 277

You deserved it 3 151

Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 064

You deserved it 6 551