By Soap0015 - 16/08/2012 09:57 - United States
The Top
Territorial Pissings
By El Camino - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
Emotional rollercoaster
By ehcanadianeh - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto
By wtfiswronghere - 08/12/2015 18:36 - United States - Jacksonville
By mmoments - 17/11/2015 19:01 - United States
By Anonymous - 16/06/2013 16:14 - South Africa - Johannesburg
By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 20:10 - United States
pollychrome tells us more.
By theshad - 10/09/2010 06:28 - Reserved
Never again
By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa
Punned
By 4fingerdiscount - 13/09/2016 11:07 - United States - Knoxville
Public freakout
By Anonymous - 29/06/2015 21:52 - United States - Tupelo
By Anonymous - 11/03/2014 18:51
Casting call out
By Kat - 17/09/2009 02:19 - United States
By anonymous - 18/02/2012 22:07 - United States
By umyuck - 03/05/2015 16:55 - United States - Norfolk
By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States
Dicknugget!
By 3-wheeler - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
We just don't see you in that way
By Noname - 09/02/2009 23:47 - United States
By mokki - 31/03/2015 12:56 - Canada - Toronto
By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 05:23 - France
By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 21:29 - United States - Augusta
By T.C - 23/01/2010 12:21 - United Kingdom
By Anonymous - 08/12/2014 23:11 - United States - Falls Church
By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles
By Anonymous - 09/01/2016 05:38 - United States - Columbus
By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 02:07 - United States
Honk honk
By Goosey - 12/12/2009 17:26 - United States
By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 05:12 - United States
Confused?
By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 07:09 - Australia
By sexyconvo - 25/11/2009 07:23 - United States
Keywords
The rest of the story: I had my cellphone on me (I always do). I called a friend who lived close by who keeps a set of keys for us. She drove over while we sat in the garage (the car trunk was unlocked and I crawled through to get to the inside of the car, and I could get access to the garage door opener, but my husband had locked the inner door to the house - which is why I tried the garage door in the first place) waiting and listening to the monitor. I had grabbed a beer for solidarity, but wasn't really drinking it. I honestly don't like to drink very much since having the kids (obviously didn't drink while pregnant, either), but my husband is awesome and deserved some time off. So I grabbed beers for both of us so he would have one. Usually he just finishes my beer or it ends up getting poured out. The friend got there rather quickly (about 15 minutes) while my husband sat, drank his beer and wondered aloud which of his power tools he would use to cut through the garage wall into the house if the kids started crying (they never woke up). We got in, we laughed. I carry my keys in my pocket at all times now, and my husband doesn't think I'm weird for always having my cellphone on me anymore. It wasn't a crisis, but it sure did freak us out. We're pretty attentive parents, and these are the only kids we're ever going to have (I got my tubes tied after delivery - we figured that two kids would be one for each of us, 0 growth population and really all the kids we could ever take care of anyway), so sometimes the whole first parent thing can make one kind of dumb. Sleep is in short supply, but the kids are worth it.