The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 29/04/2020 14:00

Today, after my ex broke up with me, I threw out all the clothes he’d bought me before, which was basically my entire wardrobe. Anyway, this creepy guy who lives a few blocks away seems to be wearing my old clothes and waves my bras and panties at me. It’s gross and creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 1 308

Road safety

By Scared - 24/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I have two decades of existing under my belt, yet I still can't drive. The idea of trusting yourself and others to not be dumbasses when you're moving at high speeds is not at all appealing to my anxiety-ridden brain. I can't even ride a bike properly. How the hell am I ever going to live independently? FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 368

Vicious and unprovoked

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 05:01

Today, while I was playing football with a friend, my sister wanted to join in. She was messing around with the ball at the start, then suddenly she kicked the ball through my legs, pulled my shorts down and kneed me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 222

Car Wars

By no car - 04/08/2020 17:04

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 415

Living a lie

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 14:01

Today, I get a scornful look when I try to talk to my husband, let alone try to cheer him up, because he is "severely depressed." Well, unless a friend or neighbor knocks on the door, then he’s the life of the party. Right until they leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 305

Double standards

By not ashamed! - 05/09/2020 07:57 - United States

Today, I was told how irresponsible, dangerous and shameful it is to date as a single mom. Apparently, my one and only focus should be my children. I’ve had one boyfriend in the past two years. Meanwhile, my ex-husband has a new flavor of the month around our kids whenever he sees fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 962

You deserved it 227

Dicks aplenty!

By pranksonpranks - 14/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, my sister and I have been in a prank war. She spammed my phone with dozens of random dick pics from the internet. My boyfriend saw and accused me of cheating. Now he won’t talk to me, and my sister won’t help me explain things. Guess she won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 302

Killjoy was hear

By barsituation - 03/01/2022 11:01 - United States

Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 498

The life script

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 13:59

Today, I'm stuck between my absolute resolve to never have children, due to how abhorrent I find the idea of having to raise them to adulthood, and my fear that if I don’t have any, I’ll end up old and alone, probably die alone, and the body won’t be discovered until a neighbour notices the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 559

Crashtony Cartano here

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 23:03

Today, my husband sped my car up to 80 in a 30, and almost crashed, which would have killed us both. What did I do to set him off? I played a song he didn't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 163

That's just cruel

By forever dog-less - 22/12/2018 04:00

Today, my mom told me to go meet a rescue dog. After doing all my research and emailing shelters left and right, I finally got a call. It went well! Then, my mom told me it would never happen. I'm still expecting several emails from the shelters I contacted, so I get to relive this pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 336

You deserved it 208

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 769

You deserved it 525

All over cheese?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 01:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 109

By ICallBullshxt - 18/03/2017 20:00

Today, I added my boss to the "ew" list on Skype. I then realized it sends her a notification. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 049

You deserved it 6 811

By Rakoric - 16/04/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 853

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 16:02

Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 363

By MomOfBoys - 22/12/2016 21:20

Today, it's early-release before Christmas break for the kiddos, and my awesome-sauce boss let them hang out in our law office for the afternoon. So far, one has puked in the conference room, and the other has clogged the toilet. Only 2 hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 817

You deserved it 840

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 00:30

Today, I walked in on my little brother dressing up like Billie Eilish, his new favorite singer. He tore up some of my favorite clothes to make the outfits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 161

Antidate

By Inpain - 08/07/2023 10:00

Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 150

The day after

By last night king - 28/05/2019 18:09

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 3 043

Stay safe out there

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 18:30 - United States - Bronx

Today, for the third time in less than a week, my dumbass roommate has a bunch of friends over. None of them are wearing masks and I don't feel comfortable leaving my room. I'm fucking starving and can't go to the kitchen to get food. The idiot is a fucking nursing major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 444

By McMuffin - 26/05/2017 14:00

Today, my 3-year-old daughter ran with arms wide open towards me, smiling, only to pass me by and hug the gardener instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 281

You deserved it 567

Here we go again

By Anonymous - 24/06/2019 00:17

Today, after I got pregnant 22 years ago and my husband became way too overprotective, to the point where he became a right pain in the ass, I’m now accidentally pregnant again. It turns out my now 22-year-old son is almost as bad as his dad was. Now I’ve got two of the sods to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 570

Damien

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 10:00

Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 137

Final words

By Cilla - 01/04/2021 04:01 - United Kingdom

Today, in his will, my dad laid the blame squarely at my feet for his depression, alcoholism, liver failure, suicide attempt and eventual death, not because of anything I did, just for being born in the first place. He never wanted a kid, resented becoming a dad and drank to make the depression bearable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 133

By 7thwardlord - 21/08/2017 16:00

Today, I decided to be nice and "drop" a twenty in my grandma's house for her to find. She injured her back while picking it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 002

You deserved it 879

Speak for yourself

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 1 682

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 174

Beast Mode

By Vee - 24/09/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 224

You deserved it 441

Fast Cars

By Chris21 - 11/09/2019 22:04 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 011

You deserved it 163

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 179

You deserved it 3 243

Today, my love life comes down to a choice in loneliness: I can either be alone, because I never meet anyone these days, let alone an interesting guy. Or, I can go back to my ex, who I left because he made me feel alone while sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 212

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 577

You deserved it 2 544

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 793

You deserved it 7 345

Today, I'm stuck in a ramshackle house that my aunt bought and moved everyone out to. Only one bathroom works, and she won't let us flush it because the house keeps flooding. Four people are stuck here with just one toilet filled with poop and urine, while she's been staying at a friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 970

You deserved it 1 062

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 960

You deserved it 9 786