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I replied to a comment before, but I figured I'd post an update; some of you were right about it being more than a couple days, but it turns out I have PTSD, which cause fits of rage. I'm medicated now and we just celebrated our second anniversary

By taylor_eileen - 26/12/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 604

You deserved it 3 196

Double down

By Loverscry - 05/11/2014 22:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 104

You deserved it 4 675

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Columbia City

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house after working a night shift. The door was locked and, so I wouldn't wake his parents, I called him. Twelve times. Each call went to voicemail and I was left standing outside in the freezing rain until he finally let me in. What was he doing? Playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 948

You deserved it 1 224

By novacabudsforme - 15/08/2016 10:11 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my mother told me that I could take a friend on vacation with us. Then she added that because I have no friends, my brother can bring his girlfriend instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 212

You deserved it 1 009

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/08/2016 20:58 - United States - Hayward

Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 913

You deserved it 2 891

Don't date coworkers

By Pastrygirl - 11/07/2016 22:00

Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 673

You deserved it 908

By heymacie - 29/04/2016 01:41 - United States - Beckley

Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 156

You deserved it 1 174

By Numou - 08/12/2008 07:26 - France

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 956

You deserved it 4 260

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 559

You deserved it 2 459

What a treat

By Anonymous - 17/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Sainte Genevieve

Today, I asked if my friend wanted to come meet my dog and give him a treat. We were walking to my back yard, her holding 3 hot dogs, when she said, "I think your dog is dead!" I said, "No, he's just old and sleeps all the time and won't wake up until you pet him because he's deaf." He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 694

You deserved it 665

Online shopping strikes again

By Anonymous - 05/03/2017 20:00

Today, after saving up for a beautiful new dress to wear to my partner's 30th birthday party, it finally arrived in the post. I tried the dress on and the stitching instantly ripped, leaving two big holes in it. Turns out I'm no longer a size 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 815

You deserved it 2 051

Worth a shot

By oopsydaisy - 07/03/2017 11:00 - United States - Decatur

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 892

You deserved it 651

Baker's dozen

By Glenn - 21/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad undermined my life's work. I finally opened my own bakery, but my dad told me it's a "sissies job" since it doesn't involve manual labour like he did for 50 years and I'll probably go out of business, because no one will want cakes from a 6 foot 8 man with tattoos, piercings and a shaved head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 129

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 842

You deserved it 836

By hk - 20/09/2016 15:29 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was introduced to the girl my current boyfriend went out with while dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 333

You deserved it 1 016

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The Top

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 439

You deserved it 12 981

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 6 012

Today, a woman with the cutest baby ever sat next to us at Starbucks. My response: “Aw, how cute.” My adult daughter's response: “Ew.” No chance of a grandchild anytime soon I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 881

Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 77

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 236

You deserved it 5 208

Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with a virgin who doesn’t even know how the clit works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 209