Animals: Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having...

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 39

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

0___0 9

Tuesday 24 March 2009 9:07

Was it your 16th birthday at least? D:

uhnonnuhmus 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 10:26

To get revenge, just throw the stray cat into the shower with your mom someday. Then run like hell.

Comments

genesis357 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 4:35

#10~~ GREAT idea!!!!

westsideknight 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 16:50

hahaha.....Brilliant

awkard576 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 5:20

Um. Hope it was happy?

CeeJay99 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 15:28

This is why i had my rescued cat declawed.

lifeislife_fml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 23:24

Aw, the eye chart should have the letters "FML" on it!

areveillon_fml 3

Monday 8 June 2009 2:36

Excellent

noodles_200 0

Friday 12 June 2009 6:16

parents are tarded i feal sorry for u ylf

B_C_N10 0

Friday 12 June 2009 13:35

#2 thats hilarious!!!!! KENLEY COLLINS! i didnt like her much either! WEL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! hope all they healed well!!!!!

danceydancetime 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 5:50

cool, mom! at least you got to hold this against her for good gifts, right?

haylieejae 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 19:10

hahaha, that's nice. how do you make illustrated FMLs? i want to make one!!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, as well as for the past week, my cat finds immeasurable joy in knocking eggs of the counter and staring at me as I clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 238

You deserved it 1 161

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 315

You deserved it 93 025

Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 142

Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 374

You deserved it 2 418

Today, an attention-seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding without bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 138

You deserved it 2 101

Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 6 782