Intimacy: Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy...

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

agreeclassic 149 440

vote type 1 13 821

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Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

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Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

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By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

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By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

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Off the top of my head…

By helplesslover - 04/10/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

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Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

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Tucatz 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

And in the meantime his friends hung out in the driveway, right? Pure class that is. Be glad the jackass is gone.

Bubs_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

Sounds like he deserves a Falcon Punch.

Comments

FusioN_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:48

he used you like rented mule

braFTW 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:50

Tell him you're pregnant and that's what that romantic night was all about..

havocnyc 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:05

i agree with #2 about the falcon punch or #23 it you really wanna **** with him for being a douche

Bear_Sandwich 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:17

hells yes, falcon pawnch. do it.

Had_Better_Days 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:21

Tell him that you have an STD and that he has it toooo And props for the falcon puch

blahnoopoo 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:22

#1 a little harsh..but I agree....only an asshole would sleep with the girl first than break up with her. HMMMMMM

Nakedsquirrel 5

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:23

Surprised he still broke up with you. Trying to go through with a breakup while your girlfriend is making you horny and wanting sex is a total mindfuck.

Tehalon 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:24

Tell him you have AIDS because you cheated on him with some1 and now he prolly has it too.

gleidu77 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:25

seriously, are you even upset that you guys broke up? who brings their friends along to wait in the driveway while he dumps his girlfriend? that is pure class. what a douche.