Intimacy: Classy

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

agreeclassic 52 012

vote type 1 13 048

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By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

agreeclassic 35 058

vote type 1 4 690

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

agreeclassic 31 671

vote type 1 9 540

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

agreeclassic 875

vote type 1 2 114

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

agreeclassic 56 485

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By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

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By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

agreeclassic 33 751

vote type 1 25 790

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

agreeclassic 50 022

vote type 1 14 604

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

agreeclassic 58 012

vote type 1 19 188

By Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

agreeclassic 31 483

vote type 1 6 857

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

agreeclassic 1 984

vote type 1 316

Fx13mz 7

Tuesday 7 June 2011 11:56

I'm stealing that line from him.

ambowew 7

Tuesday 7 June 2011 11:58

Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'

Comments

magicman1 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 20:08

hahahahaha freakin WIN

Alvx 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 20:22

sooo, did you suck it?

Vonneil 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 20:37

WTF ???? You should offer to cut it off

psycho456 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 20:37

so?

tatit 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 20:39

How romantic! I just swooned! LOL!

twaumat 28

Tuesday 7 June 2011 21:27

lmao! win :)))

Mrrevorp 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 21:31

******* genius

marianasgirl 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 21:39

well.. it's not, get to it

kaileigh10 2

Tuesday 7 June 2011 21:39

what an a$$!!!!

blackvyper 8

Tuesday 7 June 2011 21:40

Well... it's not!

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Top

Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML

agreeclassic 1 073

vote type 1 98

Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML

agreeclassic 759

vote type 1 386

Today, as I was helping a customer, she asked if it was my first day and who was training me. Evidently, I'm bad at my job, because I've worked there for 7 months. FML

agreeclassic 9 617

vote type 1 1 541

Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML

agreeclassic 3 910

vote type 1 191

Today, the police gave me a ticket for obstructing a loading bay as the vehicle "was not parked within the loading bay markings". I couldn't get the vehicle fully into the loading bay because there was a police vehicle in the way. FML

agreeclassic 9 413

vote type 1 716

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

agreeclassic 21 744

vote type 1 120 506