FML : Holidays, Your everyday life stories

Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML

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By sickday - / Sunday 2 December 2018 17:30 /

Today, I was tripped downstairs as a "joke" by my little brother. When I was yelling in pain from my broken arm, my mom was lecturing me to be thankful "one goddamn day a year". She also thinks I'm lying just to hide that I'm clumsy and my brother is innocent. He won't admit it. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

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By thankful - / Tuesday 27 November 2018 22:00 /

Today, my self-described "genius" cousin came to the conclusion that cooking the turkey in the oven for 8 hours would take too long, so he doubled the temperature to have it done in half the time. The fire department had to come to put out the fireball that was once my butterball. FML

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By Anonymous - / Monday 26 November 2018 16:00 / United States - Floral Park

Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML

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By maisie - / Thursday 22 November 2018 22:00 /

Today, my uncle is on vacation with his friend, who sent us a video of their hotel room. He captured a glimpse of my uncle in the shower. Naked. This can't be unseen. FML

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By Vlad - / Wednesday 21 November 2018 13:30 /

Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML

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By Heggs - / Wednesday 31 October 2018 17:30 /

Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML

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By sluttyfox - / Wednesday 31 October 2018 14:00 /

Today, my little sister got into my anime DVDs, probably thinking they were cartoons. She watched High School DXD, which isn't the best anime for a 6-year-old. Now she wants to be the Breast Dragon Emperor for Halloween and Dad is threatening to set fire to my entire collection. FML

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By Juggernaut Drive - / Wednesday 31 October 2018 05:00 /

Today, I went to a haunted hayride with my crush and friends. I got scared and screamed so he put his arm around me and hugged me. I took this as a good sign and leaned in. Turns out his friend was handing him something and he wasn't putting his arm around me. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 30 October 2018 22:00 /

Today, students were permitted to wear costumes at my school, but only about half of us did. In 4th period a guy asked me, "What are you supposed to be?" I wasn’t wearing a costume. FML

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By Fangirl#1 - / Monday 29 October 2018 22:10 /

Today, I was talking to my military brother about him coming home soon. I told him that our parents don't always handle change well, but are excited to see him. He took that to mean that they don't want him home and to make plans to stay where he is. FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 27 October 2018 13:30 /

Today, after being jobless for 2 years, I got a call back for an interview. I was ecstatic until I saw the date. It's the same day I leave for a weeklong, nonrefundable vacation. I applied for the job 6 weeks ago, and since not hearing anything bought the vacation 2 weeks ago. FML

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By TheLibrarian - / Saturday 27 October 2018 05:00 /

Today, my friend, who had begged me to buy them a plane ticket after being stranded overseas, blocked me. They didn't even use the ticket. FML

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By AzrielB - / Thursday 18 October 2018 15:30 /

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend's family for the first time. Unfortunately, I have diarrhoea and keep leaving extremely smelly farts around the house. I blame the dog every time, but I think they're catching on. FML

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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 17 October 2018 17:30 /

Today, my boyfriend's mother informed me that when I visit him next month, he is planning to propose. We have a long-distance relationship and I've been thinking of breaking it off. His friends and family are involved with the proposal he planned. They're all going to hate me. FML

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Megan Caird Say more :

Distance aside, I could see marrying the man down the road. There's just a lot of fear and doubt on my end. I brought up having a serious discussion on the status of our relationship before I get on a plane next month. As for what I'd be doing after (if the relationship is terminated), I would conduct the business I am traveling there for, without him. His family and I are close, and that loss will...

By Megan Caird - / Saturday 13 October 2018 12:22 / United States - Asbury Park

Today, my fiancée bought me a luxury getaway to the Maldives, complete with a five-star hotel and first-class plane tickets. Too bad she used my credit card, with all the money I was saving for our wedding. FML

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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 10 October 2018 15:30 /

Today, I was talking to my sister about how I need to buy gifts from Santa for my daughter, when my son asked why I would be buying them instead of letting Santa bring them. My son genuinely still believed in Santa. He’s 22 years old. FML

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By yen - / Sunday 7 October 2018 22:00 /

Today, despite being the president of the Japanese club at my school since it started, my mom will not let me go on a school-sponsored trip to Japan. She's worried that North Korea will fire a missile at Japan while I'm there. FML

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ChromoTec Say more :

Hey, OP here. I couldn't fit everything inside the 300-character limit, so I'll just explain it here. She says we don't have the money to go, which currently we don't, but she refused all of my fundraising ideas and made me take down my GoFundMe page, and since she doesn't let me get a job either, I'm stuck with no way to pay for it. I've tried again and again to get her to let me go, but she won't...

By ChromoTec - / Monday 24 September 2018 22:38 /