Bad hair day By Faithy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 920 You deserved it 49 042 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML I agree, your life sucks 806 You deserved it 2 003
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for changing my phone's password, like I thought she would try to access my phone without telling me. When I pointed out she could only know I changed it by trying to unlock it behind my back, she took the sandwich I'd just made and fed it to the dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 455 You deserved it 94
Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 305 You deserved it 10 731
Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 238 You deserved it 49 508
Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 546 You deserved it 3 431
Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 418 You deserved it 3 578
Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 718 You deserved it 2 135
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 75
dumbass.
you spelled blonde wrong :)