Bad hair day By Faithy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 920 You deserved it 49 042 Share Tweet Share
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 512 You deserved it 5 029
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 72 311 You deserved it 7 363
Today, my fiancée handed me her engagement ring back and told me she felt like she's pressuring me into marriage, so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer engaged. On top of this, I found out she’s started talking to her ex again. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 136 You deserved it 202
Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML I agree, your life sucks 834 You deserved it 83
Today, I felt so awful in my belly, I went to a massage therapist for help. She, like me, thought it was the stress of some recent family issues. It was more than that. Her kneading of my gut indeed relieved me by helping me have a HUGE go. One scream and a four foot turd later, I realized I'd been constipated. No longer. FML I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 154
Today, my boyfriend had been distant for a while, didn't turn up for my birthday dinner, and gave no explanation. Turns out he was on a date that same afternoon. Two days later he announced his new "relationship" all over Facebook. When he saw I'd blocked him everywhere, he sent a "I miss you" text. Never seen anyone so audacious. FML I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 77
dumbass.
you spelled blonde wrong :)