Nearly FMLs

By anon - 19/02/2016 17:34 - Canada - Armstrong

Today, my little cousin was putting lotion on her legs and I awkwardly got a boner... She didn't notice but her mom definitely did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By College_Grad - 19/02/2016 17:31

Today, I went on a 9-day vacation to see my husband for a late Valentine's day celebration. My mom agreed to care for my large number of very expensive fish. After a 6 hour drive, my mom called to tell me she lost my apartment key. It will cost $25 every time they unlock the door for her. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FSxSinon - 19/02/2016 17:28 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I stayed home sick and didn't go to school. This would be great if I didn't have a group project due today. I have the poster and the script we were gonna use when we presented our work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By PinkGlitterBunny - 19/02/2016 17:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the doctor for a horrible cough Ive had for over a week. They didnt have masks for me to wear so a woman in the waiting room spent 5 minutes berating me for not wearing one, demanding to know if I was trying to make everyone sick. I have bronchitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 19/02/2016 17:17 - United States

Today, as a claims intake specialist, I filed a claim for a guy for numerous sex toys. after he first said "bed straps" he informs me "it's going to get a lot freakier". I spent an hour on the phone while he went in detail or what all the items were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Matthew let - 19/02/2016 16:57 - United States - Madison

Today,I was at school and I saw my girl with another guy under the stairs naked FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whatthehell - 19/02/2016 16:54 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, my clumsy, a little awkward friend told me that she finally got a boyfriend (actually first boyfriend ever). I was so happy for her until she said that her new boyfriend is my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By el chap - 19/02/2016 16:32 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I spent from 2-9AM throwing up from both ends. I leave for a flight tonight to visit a college that wants me to practice with their team to see if they'll give me a scholarship to play for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By you're fired! - 19/02/2016 16:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I made a dentist appointment after not having insurance for 4 years. Four hours later, I got fired and was told my benefits run out at the end of the month. My appointment's in March. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ColdPack - 19/02/2016 16:07 - Philippines - Navotas

For our anniversary my boyfriend took us to a restaurant where they served hot chilies in everything. When we got home he started fingering me. 15 minutes in and I felt the burn. He spent all night rubbing a cold pack on me. Happy anniversary baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By reluctantAtlas - 19/02/2016 16:03 - United States

Today, I got to feel a bit of what it's like to have two very sick children. Between me coughing and running a fever for the past 2 days and my boyfriend and roommate both doing the same plus throwing up, none of us have gotten any sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ugh - 19/02/2016 16:02 - United States - Silverdale

Today, my boyfriend is mad at me because my friend (who is a guy) called for help changing a tire because it fell on him and broke his foot, and I was late to class. Now my boyfriend won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By g502 - 19/02/2016 15:53 - Belgium - Sint-truiden

Today, my mom cleaned my room and found my cum-sock, she then proceeded to buy me a box of tissues, FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 25

By dentist? - 19/02/2016 15:18 - United States - Torrance

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. I felt a pinch and then something fall onto the bed. Her adult tooth fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anon - 19/02/2016 15:01 - Australia - Casula

Today, while dicing tomatoes, I sliced my finger.. That same one I had peeled before with a peeler. Also, I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 19/02/2016 14:53 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend found out that I've been trying to repair the damage caused by my botched circumcision. Not only did she mock me, but she posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By annoyeddriver - 19/02/2016 14:34 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got rear-ended. Why you ask? Because the dipstick behind me was steering with her knees, as she popped zits on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By PeppermintPenny - 19/02/2016 14:24 - Germany - Munich

Today, after a guy had invited me on a coffee date to catch up, I texted him back, that I wasn't interested in him romantically and didn't think coffee was a good idea. He then told me I had gotten something wrong; he is getting married in June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By aintdeadyet - 19/02/2016 14:11

Today, the girl I have a crush on asked for my number. She then gave it to her boyfriend as a "back-up" when her phone doesn't work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 19/02/2016 14:02 - Denmark

Today, a friend excitedly asked me, who would be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I politely told her I just want a small, intimate wedding with no bridesmaids. She then spend 30 minuttes trying to force me into changing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SoundsAboutRight - 19/02/2016 13:44 - United States - Grand Forks

Yesterday, I went on a date. Everything was great until his wife I wasn't aware of walked in and sat down. After asking where his ring was, he pulls it out and says "right here honey it just fell off." Not only was I lied to, but I had to sit there and listen to who got what in the divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Callmesam230 - 19/02/2016 13:41 - United States - Washington

Today, this girl that sits with me at lunch kept talking about how she was shaving her armpits and sliced off her nipple. Then she was describing it in full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Ethan - 19/02/2016 13:39 - Switzerland

Today, my grandma called me asking for help. I asked her what she needed, but she seemed shy and told me "just come over". I made all my way to her home (25 minutes driving on the snow) wondering what the heck was all this about. Well, she wanted me to help her playing Pokemon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By aaahhhhhhhhh - 19/02/2016 13:10 - Canada - Steinbach

Today, we are 2 weeks away from my destination wedding in Mexico. I have 30 people coming and my travel agent is MIA, none of us have our tickets or confirmation numbers yet. I've called, left messages and several emails.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Special_Orange - 19/02/2016 13:09 - United States - Augusta

Today, I was at my nana's house. I told my dad not to tell her that I was gay, as she is very homophobic. My dad agreed, but when the question came up, due to his religion, he had to tell her the truth. Next thing you know, my dad's driving me to the ER with a broken leg and two busted ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By randomname98 - 19/02/2016 13:07 - United States - Elk River

Today, I had to get an IV before my MRI. It only took 3 different nurses 30 minutes, 6 needles, and an ultrasound of my arm to get the IV to stay in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By skullover23 - 19/02/2016 13:01 - United States - Twinsburg

Today, at work, a lady dropped a candle in my check out lane. She started bending down to pick it up when I told her to leave it. She rushed to the bathroom and came out with a red eye claiming glass was in it. She claimed she was going to the hospital and is going to sue us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymouse - 19/02/2016 12:59 - United States - Lanett

Today, I am sick, with persistent vomiting and diarrhea. The rest of my family is also sick with the same thing. 4 people, 3 women, 2 tiny bathrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By i'm sorry?? - 19/02/2016 12:48 - United States - Midland

Today, I sent a message to one of my best friends. We used to talk everyday, and I've not heard much from this friend since October of last year. He must have gotten my occasional 'hey', 'hi', or 'are you okay?'s today, because he absolutely snapped at me for trying to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sleepy - 19/02/2016 12:20 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house to sleep over. He snores. Badly. It's almost 5 am and I haven't slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 95

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 542

You deserved it 32 590

Today, after going to the convenience store and getting my card declined, the clerk let me come back home with all the things I'd bought so I could look for money and pay with cash instead, so I went back to pay a few minutes later. Karma paid back the goodwill 3 minutes later by making me burn my left hand with boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 246

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 827

You deserved it 41 844

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 840

You deserved it 34 891

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 883

You deserved it 4 329