Miscellaneous

By NotThatKind - 24/08/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 635

You deserved it 42 430

By violatedinden - 24/08/2009 00:57 - United States

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 542

You deserved it 2 422

By sunflowercake - 23/08/2009 23:10 - Canada

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 964

You deserved it 2 382

By SummerGirl0009 - 23/08/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 159

You deserved it 3 797

By Kegronauer - 23/08/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 307

You deserved it 4 342

avidfmylife tells us more.

avidfmylife 6

Monday 24 August 2009 5:38

haha the comments are all great. I'll clarify a couple things: 1) I accidentally left my stick-on bra cups in a main part of the house where he easily found them 2) I was embarrassed that he found them and that I caught him but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It's "FML" because my dad was squishing my bras. It's "YDI" because I left them out where he found them. I decided it was better to not embarrass both of us by confronting him and explaining what they are, so I just pretended I didn't notice and left the room.

By zboy_123 - 23/08/2009 18:33 - India

Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 544

You deserved it 7 164

BFF for life

By Lonely - 23/08/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, it was the last day of camp. I told my friends we should exchange e-mail addresses so we could stay in touch. Apparently, they all had already exchanged their contact info. Nobody asked me for one piece of my contact info even once during the entire six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 754

You deserved it 4 714

Spooked

By Scared - 23/08/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 580

You deserved it 32 708

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 2 279

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 02:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 7 848

Deep clean

By Anonymous - 22/08/2009 19:48 - United States

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 940

You deserved it 12 430

By Anonymous - 22/08/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the Oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 46 210

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 112

You deserved it 2 884

By Becky - 21/08/2009 23:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 769

You deserved it 9 478

By whoababy55 - 21/08/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 469

You deserved it 2 682

Considerate

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 14:20 - United States

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 097

You deserved it 42 684

By onebadwave - 21/08/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 646

You deserved it 46 541

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 825

You deserved it 3 911

By ShiriSarah - 20/08/2009 14:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 895

You deserved it 153 263

By NoseInPain - 20/08/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 490

You deserved it 3 984

By Anonymous - 20/08/2009 13:23 - Australia

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 435

You deserved it 48 068

By tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 585

You deserved it 3 091

By GroosedOut - 20/08/2009 12:32 - United States

Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 627

You deserved it 5 416

By guitar_chick7 - 20/08/2009 08:54 - Australia

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 543

You deserved it 47 938

By anonymous - 20/08/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 525

You deserved it 49 987

By Anonymous - 20/08/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 783

You deserved it 67 010

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 162

You deserved it 4 715

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, my "best friend" invited me to drink with her and a couple other friends. She told me to "just bring a few bucks for beer". When I got there, no one else had brought money, including her. They only invited me because I'm the only one with a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 744

You deserved it 4 305

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 558

You deserved it 42 835

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 142

Today, it's been 3 months since I agreed to my mom's suggestion that we send my dog for training. I just found out that she never sent him for training, but sold him to someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 113

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 877

You deserved it 54 117

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 244

You deserved it 3 004

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 390

You deserved it 43 766

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 943

You deserved it 5 874