Miscellaneous

By SezzyJ - 02/10/2009 11:31 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

agreeclassic 39 353

vote type 1 3 872

By greeenbean - 02/10/2009 10:41 - Samoa

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

agreeclassic 38 430

vote type 1 3 777

By asshole - 02/10/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

agreeclassic 40 202

vote type 1 12 461

By Anonymous - 02/10/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

agreeclassic 43 838

vote type 1 6 191

By needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 32 635

vote type 1 2 622

By Ouchies - 01/10/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

agreeclassic 50 305

vote type 1 3 800

By mushroommouth - 01/10/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

agreeclassic 32 803

vote type 1 22 732

By dumbass - 01/10/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

agreeclassic 46 803

vote type 1 5 883

By Broly171 - 01/10/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

agreeclassic 41 331

vote type 1 5 650

By baseball25635 - 01/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

agreeclassic 11 436

vote type 1 40 449

By notmarriedyet - 01/10/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Everything went great, except that no one showed up. Apparently, the address of the invitation was typed wrong. FML

agreeclassic 40 818

vote type 1 16 979

By slcbabii23 - 01/10/2009 07:56 - United States

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

agreeclassic 10 417

vote type 1 40 146

By Jusawkward - 01/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

agreeclassic 43 687

vote type 1 4 427

Deep sleep

By Ataraxia - 01/10/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to the realization that the 2-hour nap I wanted to take before I went out with my friends last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missed everything. FML

agreeclassic 16 025

vote type 1 34 121

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

agreeclassic 46 187

vote type 1 2 267

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

agreeclassic 38 398

vote type 1 5 107

Housecleaning

By QuestionMyLife - 01/10/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

agreeclassic 27 440

vote type 1 13 458

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

agreeclassic 55 413

vote type 1 3 068

By Notthemaid - 30/09/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

agreeclassic 56 581

vote type 1 2 902

By explodingpupppet - 30/09/2009 16:41 - United States

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

agreeclassic 17 572

vote type 1 36 947

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

agreeclassic 15 421

vote type 1 42 074

Leave me alone !

By failfailfail - 30/09/2009 13:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a big exam. Twenty minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled, "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

agreeclassic 11 037

vote type 1 51 614

Happy Birthday

By qwerty6 - 30/09/2009 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML

agreeclassic 39 401

vote type 1 5 552

By User06606 - 29/09/2009 11:31 - United States

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

agreeclassic 35 489

vote type 1 6 304

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

agreeclassic 10 933

vote type 1 73 827

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

agreeclassic 43 922

vote type 1 5 362

By shield1123 - 29/09/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

agreeclassic 40 350

vote type 1 2 350

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 21:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

agreeclassic 64 925

vote type 1 14 933

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

agreeclassic 45 796

vote type 1 4 100

By mnavy - 28/09/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML

agreeclassic 41 601

vote type 1 5 066

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

agreeclassic 20 086

vote type 1 99 114

Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML

agreeclassic 447

vote type 1 115

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

agreeclassic 127

vote type 1 389

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

agreeclassic 28 936

vote type 1 6 910

Today, the only part of my Psychology final that I was 100% confident in was my name. FML

agreeclassic 11 538

vote type 1 3 168

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

agreeclassic 45 605

vote type 1 8 318