Miscellaneous

By cassieono - 10/07/2014 21:28 - United States - Springfield

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 864

You deserved it 13 711

Small talk

By madamefuxalittle - 08/07/2014 20:52 - United States - Stratford

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 854

You deserved it 4 618

By Anonymous - 08/07/2014 19:40 - United States - Clive

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 551

You deserved it 13 842

By teentee401 - 07/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Canonsburg

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 082

You deserved it 6 875

teentee401 tells us more.

teentee401 36

Tuesday 8 July 2014 2:57

Nope, I'm pretty sure that isn't it since I'm a girl.

By idiot bro - 06/07/2014 18:04 - United States - Brunswick

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 772

You deserved it 4 462

By Oops - 04/07/2014 17:35 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 964

You deserved it 43 603

By wiifantcso - 01/07/2014 21:57 - United States - Sturtevant

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 037

You deserved it 24 128

By too cool - 01/07/2014 03:59 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 398

You deserved it 3 364

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 16:19 - United States - Naperville

Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 135

You deserved it 42 752

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 936

You deserved it 7 218

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 22:28 - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 182

You deserved it 4 751

By whoops - 29/06/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 60 956

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 05:04 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 631

You deserved it 6 298

By Anonymous - 28/06/2014 20:40 - United States - Oakland

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 345

You deserved it 4 641

By Puzzlepiece - 28/06/2014 14:08 - Australia - Lakemba

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 231

You deserved it 6 611

By Alex - 26/06/2014 21:13 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 948

You deserved it 3 432

By DF - 26/06/2014 14:58 - Israel - Rehovot

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 667

You deserved it 12 155

By AllisonMegan98 - 26/06/2014 02:54 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 609

You deserved it 3 726

AllisonMegan98 tells us more.

AllisonMegan98 3

Thursday 26 June 2014 20:09

it was an Arctic Monkeys concert

Remember me?

By Anonymous - 24/06/2014 02:26 - United States - San Luis Rey

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 793

You deserved it 4 775

By Anonymous - 23/06/2014 19:52 - United States

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 721

You deserved it 6 045

MILF

By Anonymous - 22/06/2014 16:34 - United States - Syosset

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 833

You deserved it 5 113

By paywithpoop - 22/06/2014 15:10 - United States

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 026

You deserved it 3 893

By Anonymous - 22/06/2014 05:27 - Australia

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 302

You deserved it 5 065

Miscommunication

By kay-z - 21/06/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 986

You deserved it 4 017

By guest - 19/06/2014 01:14 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 816

You deserved it 5 572

By ifeelfat - 17/06/2014 20:44 - United States

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 8 099

By luckycharmed - 17/06/2014 17:34 - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 779

You deserved it 4 396

By FMeeee - 16/06/2014 18:50 - Portugal - Aveiro

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 460

You deserved it 9 810

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 16:33 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 716

You deserved it 11 010

By IneedMaury - 16/06/2014 15:30 - United States - Lowell

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 472

You deserved it 6 311

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 048

You deserved it 1 950

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 708

You deserved it 10 833

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 467

You deserved it 3 319

Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 425

You deserved it 3 078

Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 246

You deserved it 1 115

Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 92