Kids

Grow up

By I fucking hate baby talk - 08/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife is mad at me for discouraging our son from baby talking. He's seven, well past the age where exaggerated mush-mouth baby talk is cute. It's grating and off-putting to see him rolling on the floor going, "Me luh mummuh and daddeh" when he's a perfectly smart, well adjusted kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 79

It's not a phase… or maybe it is

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, we found out my niece has been faking all her issues in order to keep up her “damaged, beautiful disaster” online persona. She went too far and ended up on a 72hr hold. Now she’s screaming, crying, and begging to come home because the hospital is “too scary.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 91

They grow up so fast

By NoGrandkids - 06/05/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 100

Family man

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 119

Overfamiliar

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to finally call my stepmom "Mom." She politely asked me not to call her that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 73

Proud mama

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my darling first born 23 year-old son just called me, a single mum who works full time, disgusting because I’ve gained weight and been too busy to go to the gym. He’s living at home and not paying rent, despite working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 128

Unstable

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I won my custody battle. I wish I could be happy about it, but it strained my current marriage so badly that now I'm going through my second divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 162

Stop going on about it

By Msrebound - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 255

You deserved it 694

She's right

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my son came home upset that his crush is still friendzoning him. While he and I were coming up with a plan to get her to change her mind, my wife burst in and yelled, “She doesn’t fucking like him! Get the fuck over it and leave the poor girl alone!” Way to be supportive, hon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 1 320

You guys have fun

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 22:00 - Denmark

Today, I went to swim with my husband and baby daughter. My husband packed the bags and said twice that he'd packed my swim suit. He hadn't. I spent 10 euros for a 10 minute bath, while he got to swim with our baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 122

Parents of the year

By lordoftheweird - 30/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, I found out that I have been secretly paying the bills. All the psych treatments and medication tryouts I took as a kid was paid research. My parents spent all the money on themselves and they still wanted me to do the research. They also lied to my school and told them I was autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 67

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my pathetic wannabe influencer sister would not stop recording my kids, even though they and I told her not to. I finally snapped and smashed her phone and now she's threatening to press charges, and our parents are on her side. My kids are scared that they're going to be taken away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 112

Late to the party

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my ex-husband, who abandoned us after our son was paralyzed in an accident, contacted me to demand full custody because he found out that I got remarried. He doesn't want another man raising his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 81

How could you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 503

You deserved it 4 226

Ungrateful brat

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 12:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, despite all I've sacrificed to stay home with my child, and operating a small business while they are in school, my child decided to make a punchline out of me and roasted me in front of the whole family because my husband paid for my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 108

Mommy needs a break

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight because I booked us on an adults-only Virgin Voyages cruise for our anniversary. I love him, but he wants every single vacation to be a family vacation with our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 208

Power move

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I took my kids and left my wife because she's been drinking, which I absolutely forbid. Now she's going on social media saying I kidnapped them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 598

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 605

You deserved it 1 295

Be a better parent

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my boyfriend’s bitch of an ex about why she won’t let him see their kids. She laughed hysterically then showed me screenshots of all the times she offered to drop them off and the excuses he made. An hour later, she dropped three kids at our door and stopped answering her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 771

That was fun

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I was babysitting and told the kid we’d make pancakes from scratch. I mixed everything, poured the batter, and waited. They never set. I'd forgot to add flour. The kid looked at the pan, then at me, and said, “Is this soup?” I ordered pizza and tried to spin it as a “fun cooking experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 339

Time to chime in

By Women don't owe men shit - 23/04/2026 09:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I heard my husband giving my son the talk about girls. He said, "You want three main things from women: peace, sex, and kids. If they can't give you those, they aren't worth your time." What an asshole I married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 320

I'm doing fine

By Superdad - 20/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, trying to prove I can handle things solo while my wife is away. I packed my kid’s lunch, dropped him at school, and felt very accomplished… until the teacher emailed me a picture of the lunchbox. I had packed my own leftover spicy curry instead of his sandwich. Apparently, “It was too spicy but also kind of good.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 217

Rage

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 106

Hello?

By littl3storm - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was trying on bras in a shop when a little kid stuck their head under my stall. I was completely topless and completely surprised when they asked if I was their mommy. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 227

Dynasty

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my grandparents are demanding that I come live with them because my stepmom is pregnant. They're convinced that she and my dad are going to throw me aside once the baby is born, even though I know that's not going to happen. They're even making threats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 60

I want to ride my bicycle

By Baddad - 15/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 531

Modern art

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 530

You deserved it 1 736

Settler mindset

By Freebird - 14/04/2026 00:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my sister and her common-law-husband intensified their hints that their family is growing (a teenage son, a pre-teen daughter, and a new baby coming in the way), and it's getting rather crowded. In short, they want me out of the house. They may have also forgotten the mere fact that it is my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 103

Portion control

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, my wife refuses to acknowledge our kids’ weight problem. When I try, she claims bodyshaming. The last time we went to the park, one wouldn’t get off the bench, the other was too big for the slide, and our daughter got stuck in the swing. They were all so winded they couldn’t talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 113

In big 2026?

By Brainrot Blues - 13/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I work at a craft store. One of the things we sell are wooden numbers. If I had a dollar for every time a random kid took all the 6's and 7's and lined them up across the floor, forcing me to stop what I'm doing in order to go put them back, I'd probably have more than $67. It's an almost daily occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 60

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 677

You deserved it 899

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 948

You deserved it 15 460

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 615

You deserved it 4 749

Today, my mom walked out on me, abandoning her 16-year-old and taking $100 and a dog, all because I refused to wear women's panties. I would have been perfectly fine wearing them if I weren't a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 395

You deserved it 273

Today, I went to court to fight my old apartment complex about carpet replacement, because I'd left it completely spotless, only to wait two hours to be told they'd rescheduling it for March. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 88

Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 81