By Squeezebox - 30/08/2017 08:00 - United States - Missoula
Like father like son
By Anonymous - 14/09/2022 00:30
Circular logic
By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 11:01
It's toast
By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00
By off the family - 17/06/2018 20:30
By Tara - 31/10/2008 07:06 - Sweden
By AAMBC4 - 09/04/2013 10:30 - United States - Jersey City
AAMBC4 tells us more.
By The Selfie Parent - 04/11/2014 21:48 - Canada - Mount Pearl
By Username - 03/06/2011 14:04 - United States
By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 06:58 - United States
Trauma
By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 06:00
Keep it to yourself
By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 20:00
It's a sign
By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom
By JEHR - 07/10/2016 07:21 - Canada - Prince George
JEHR tells us more.
OP here to answer some of your burning questions. Really, FML for all involved, but the crown goes to the dog. He isn’t butthurt about it anymore. I watched for blood and any signs of pain in his next stool because I know what sharp, jabby appendages toddler fingers are and it was like any other shit. He also received boiled chicken breast to alleviate the emotional trauma and a lot of praise for his stand-up response to the whole shit show. To clarify a few others and add some detail: 1. No one got bit. I’ve got a hell of a bombproof dog and he and the kid are tight. He did leap like a gazelle though. Fair to say he was surprised. 2. Wet wipes are a parent’s best friend. Too bad I only had spit and a Kleenex. 3. The amateur veterinarian’s diagnosis was ‘stinky.’ And he wasn’t very happy about it. 4. I don’t know if some people are aware but toddlers tend to throw high emotion, physically aggressive tantrums because they are developmentally limited in their ability to appreciate consequences, exercise restraint, and use non-physical methods to express themselves, especially when upset. It’s normal, he’s two, that’s what they do. 5. This was his first anal offense although he’s previously expressed interest in the brown hole that he’s not allowed to touch ever since he came to be eye level with it. He really had no appreciation of what he was doing and how it would affect the dog. 6. But yes, he did receive ‘discipline’ in the form of a calm, firm reprimand for acting in violence and, when he calmed down enough, a limited discussion of appropriate behaviour and a teachable moment where he came to understand that he had hurt our dog. Little guy was upset by it and apologetic. It went way better than anticipated. 7. People who think children suck for reasons such as this undervalue the insane mileage I’m going to get out of this one for years to come. 8. He’s a really awesome kid with a good heart, but human (surprise). I’m actually pretty sad Trip didn’t add anything but #14 gave me a laugh. I also don't know what he's going to be a 'social path' quite means, but I'm alright if he turns out extroverted.
By castironstomach - 03/10/2017 20:00
By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway
Mr Whiskers takes priority
By Anonymous - 07/12/2021 16:58
By clrichmond2009 - 19/02/2014 18:48 - United States - Christiansburg
clrichmond2009 tells us more.
OK, even though I've been commenting throughout, time for a full follow up. 1. I am not an idiot that's letting my child beat the crap out of me. When he does get too hard, he is disciplined and shown how to be gentle. 2. I have not given up on teaching my child manners, not to hit, etc. It's going to be a long 18 years because they're brothers. They're gonna fight! My sister and I beat each other on a fairly regular basis when we were kids. It's what siblings do. 3. Thanks for ALL your posts! Some of them had me cracking up. And some had me a little scared for the poster or their (future?) children.
Kid A
By Anonymous - 25/09/2025 09:00
Quack science
By RyanJarmanForPresident - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
Christmas shopping spree tip
By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom
By WordBea - 26/10/2015 23:39 - United States - Philadelphia
WordBea tells us more.
Hello - OP here. I was helping at an event when this happened. First of all, I'd like to say that there was no way the kid just wandered off. His dad was in a parking lot looking for his stuff in his car at least 200 meters away. He just had his head up his ass. Second of all, I know it was wrong to not call the police or at least get some adult involved, but I'm only 14, and so I guess I wasn't jaded enough yet to realize any predator in the vicinity might see that as the perfect opportunity. For what it's worth, though, I saw a very close resemblance between the two, so at least that's something.
Kids…
By Courtney - 26/05/2016 12:12 - United States
Nice break
By Anonymous - 21/11/2023 14:00
By Anonymous - 25/02/2018 13:00 - United States - New Hyde Park
Birthday Bitch
By Anon - 21/02/2017 16:00 - Canada - Calgary
What the…?
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
It'll be drones these days
By Ace - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto
By SirDirtyRedD - 25/01/2014 01:03 - Iceland - Reykjav
By whatthewhat - 18/11/2009 19:52 - United States
Keywords
OP here. Some of these comments crack me up, but thank you for the chuckle. My daughter is the light of my life and truly has a sense of humor and intelligence beyond her short 3 years. I appreciate the support of most and I am happy to have this to share with her as she gets older.