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Didn't see that one coming

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 12:00

Today, as a prank my brother handcuffed me to the pole in the bus and ran out with my phone. The bus driver couldn’t hear me upstairs, so I was driven all the way to the end of the line, and without my phone I couldn’t even pay the fare for a return trip. I had to walk 7 miles home in heels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 111

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 185

Angry man

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 00:00 - United States - Camden Wyoming

Today, I learned that now that my mom is dead, and my dad doesn't need my emotional support during her illness anymore, he's going to go back to insulting me every time he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 81

Make it stop

By Kate is late - 16/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's house and was so excited to try her fancy bathroom with a “smart toilet.” The toilet had a “sensitive” bidet feature, and when I tried to stand up, it somehow thought I was still sitting and started spraying repeatedly. I just froze while standing, as it repeatedly splashed water on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 307

Moral quandary

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 15:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, I realized some of my English students have just been going to their Philosophy professor to help them complete their essays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 113

Sneaky

By Blindsided - 22/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me. A friend had brought this to my attention. She was under the impression that we broke up because she’d seen stories of him and another woman. I found out he changed his story settings to hide the specific posts with that other woman from me only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 71

Lazy ableism

By F-f-f-fuck you, teacher - 29/10/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I gave a presentation. My teacher deducted points because I "need to learn how to speak more confidently, because you often stumble over your words." I have a stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 84

I hate this

By Danny - 25/04/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad is fighting for his life after a pancreatic cancer diagnosis and a life threatening surgery. I work full time and I visit him when I can, knowing we’re on borrowed time. I come home emotional exhausted and drained, only to be met with a nagging wife that says I’m not prioritizing her or the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 86

Family time

By skinny - 01/11/2023 00:02

Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 62

Pushing it too far

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 576

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 10:00

Today, I was waiting for a software issue to reproduce for around 10 hours while working on other stuff. My manager called to get a status update, so I stopped the monitoring setup for 10 minutes. Guess when the repro happened… FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 145

It's over

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I took part in India’s giant emergency drill. I hid in a recycling bin for two hours straight. No one ever came to find me. It turns out the drill was only 20 minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 422

Group Project Struggles

By FML Approved - 21/10/2017 14:30 - United States - New York

Not helping never looked so cute!

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 105

Getting on

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 00:00

Today, I had to put my glasses on just to scroll Pornhub. I'm officially old and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 309

Behave yourselves

By DogStew - 16/11/2023 08:00

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 106

Budget Spa

By FML Approved - 25/10/2017 20:30

Who else is ready to take a personal day with this dog?

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 120

Chilled

By Janet - 20/11/2023 18:30 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 150

The Oracle

By Kevin - 14/08/2022 00:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She has early onset dementia, butt was a pretty OK day. All was going well until she looked at her son and said he was skinny, which admittedly he is quite skinny, but then looked me dead in the eye and said, "You need to lose weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 234

You ass!

By Jack - 02/08/2022 00:00

Today, I just spent the last 3 years working on a research project and published about it, read by a multitude co-authors and proofreaders. My mum just spotted it has the word "asses" in it, instead of "assess". FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 277

Work sucks, I know

By Living the Dream - 05/08/2022 02:00

Today, a guy diagnosed with ALS and months to live told me he didn’t envy my job. Definitely including this on my end of year performance review… FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 118

Meandering

By Kate & Nate - 29/11/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 221

Wake up Boo

By Anon - 03/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I set an elaborate alarm system to wake up early. I woke up to the soothing sounds of birds chirping, only to discover that I had accidentally set my ringtone to bird noises instead of an actual alarm. I missed my morning meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 559

Tough choices

By Anonymous - 05/12/2023 20:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I was told by my doctor that I could keep taking my Rheumatoid Arthritis meds and be severely depressed, or go off of them, possibly not be depressed, but be in extreme pain. I’m deciding between my mental health and physical health and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 114

That went well

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 667

All in the family

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 04:00 - Canada - Moose Factory

Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 187

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 215

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 14:00 - United States - Altoona

Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 120

Admiral Ackbar didn't warn you?

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 06:00 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 595

Smooth moves

By Clumsy - 05/07/2025 00:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went to my usual cafe and ordered a caramel latte. As I handed back my empty cup, I gestured to compliment the barista… and knocked over a perfectly balanced tray of macarons. They scattered across the counter and floor like colorful grenades, and I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees scooping pastry shells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 201

It's a mystery

By Anonymous - 07/09/2022 17:00 - Australia - Cremorne

Today, our water got cut off. Since our council tax is also due today, I called them and hurled abuse for cutting off the water so soon. Turns out they don’t actually supply water, nor was it even disconnected. Some random person just turned off the meter tap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 1 208

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The Top

Today, it was the first sunny spring day that I had off from work. I spent the morning making a picnic lunch and took my girlfriend to a beautiful spot overlooking the lake. I did not count on a bird flying by with perfect poop aim as soon as we spread out the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 698

You deserved it 241

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 445

You deserved it 21 079

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 087

You deserved it 4 627

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 354

You deserved it 8 721

Today, my grandpa pointed out my slightly larger than usual belly and made fun of it, by comparing it to a kidney bag. I’ve been underweight since I was 13, and when I finally gain weight someone has to make fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 129

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 365

You deserved it 2 840