The Top

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Roadkill

By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 16:58 - United States

Today, I saw maggots dropping from beneath my car. I looked under, to see a rotting paw dangling from my engine. That would explain the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 178

Come on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my two year-old son consistently ignores my mom and will crawl towards my dad every time. My mom is now refusing to visit because a two year-old hurt her feelings. I get it, being ignored hurts, but come on, he’s two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 92

Go get an Xray, dude

By WaychulMonster - 17/07/2022 04:00

Today, I was on autopilot, walking out of the bathroom, and separated my pinky toe from the rest of my toes over the door frame. I dropped to the ground in pain, and my toe and half my foot still hurts hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 166

Man vs. Wild

By Marjo86 - 27/09/2019 20:00

Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 115

Come on man, make an effort

By reallymom - 17/05/2021 19:01 - United States - Houston

Today, it's been over a month since my mom has answered my calls or texts. Why? Because I didn't write an elaborate post on her Facebook for her birthday like my sister did. I only called and messaged with her all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 103

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 83

Pop Quiz Day

By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 22:00 - United States - New York

No thanks.

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 101

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/08/2022 20:00 - United States - Caldwell

Today, me, my mom, and my brother lost our house, the place we had lived for my whole life. I can't describe the pain I feel because my whole life was painted around that town. I had also just made friends as we were moving. I now live with 7 other people from my family. I can't be myself and I don't have my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 156

By potatohead - 01/11/2017 18:00

Today, I had a nasty headache so I tried to take a nap. Unfortunately, my college had a homecoming parade a block away from where I live. I never knew our marching band sounded that awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 453

You deserved it 301

Dial it back

By Only me - 19/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was trying to chat up a girl by showing off my new smartwatch. I proudly said, “It even reads my heartbeat!” It was 132 bpm. She looked at me and asked, “Are you OK? Or just incredibly out of shape from talking to me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 486

Not so ready to rumble

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 14:00

Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 156

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 07:30

Today, I went for a job interview. I'd resigned at my current job and applied for somewhere closer to home. They hired me on the spot, and as I was leaving, I saw my abusive ex-boyfriend working in the store. So… now I'm working alongside my ex who abused me for two years. Time to apply elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 106

The sensual sounds of Derek Bailey

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 144

Fault

By Bleh - 22/06/2021 05:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I accidentally let slip to my mom that I hardly remember the graduation party she threw me four years ago. She proceeded to verbally assault me for forgetting the special occasion. I had a brain complication two years ago which resulted in some memory loss. Apparently, it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 84

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 1 337

Bummer

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, I was on my way to see someone very special to me, but got pulled over and arrested for some old ticket and thrown in jail. I called family, who live 45 minutes away, but it took them 7 hours to get there. Now I lost the someone special and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 530

Tricked

By Dannnn - 10/06/2021 10:59

Today, I met a super gorgeous girl at the bar. We laughed together over drinks and it was all perfect, until she told me she wasn’t from this town. We hugged goodbye and she left. When I went to pay our tab, I realized I’d been pickpocketed by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 210

Fitness is overrated

By Frankie says relax - 10/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 718

Welcome!

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I moved into my first house and realised pretty quick that my estate agent lied to me about how great this neighbourhood was. I was in the house for 30 minutes when I heard the neighbours having a screaming domestic in their garden, then a brick flew over the fence and broke my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 135

Clapback

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 11:00 - Australia

Today, the cafe lady misnamed me Michael. I corrected her and jokingly exclaimed that Michael must be really handsome if she mistook me for him. She simply responded, “No, not really.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 403

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 287

You OK in there?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 310

Late entry to the Delusional Christmas list

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our boss is upset at us because not one person is going to the Christmas party that she so kindly bought all the snacks and drinks for. She scheduled it for noon, on the 25th of december. CHRISTMAS DAY. Hell, no no one is going, they’ll be with their families, not voluntarily going to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 103

Corporate stooge

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell a bald cancer patient that no, having cancer did not entitle her to a 100% discount on coffee. I felt like a douche for saying it, but I work at a well known coffee franchise and I’m not losing my job because someone wants free coffee, no matter how ill they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 93

Not so subtle hint

By DumpedLikeADUmp - 05/09/2022 20:30

Today, I come home from work to my bedroom to find all my husband’s stuff gone. There was a note in the dresser, with his wedding band, that read, “I hope you can take a hint. Sorry.” Not only was I dumped, and I can’t locate him anywhere, but I now have to cover his part of the mortgage which I can’t afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 022

You deserved it 229

All alone

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I have no friends because I have severe anxiety and severe social anxiety. I thought I had family but as it turns out, my family is trying to get rid of me by sending me away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 132

Mesmerized

By Embarrassing - 26/06/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 212

Classic tale

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 21:00

Today, I literally caught my husband with his prick in another woman’s mouth and he had the nerve, the actual nerve, to tell me, "It’s not what it looks like, babe", all while trying to stuff his lipstick-coated knob back in his pants. CRETIN. IDIOT. CHEATING SCUM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 203

Where is it?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 101

Uncanny valley

By bruv - 12/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my family for the first time. Everyone quickly pointed out how my girlfriend looks very much like my cousin. My girlfriend even agrees. That’s not what I was going off of when I first met her but now I’m having a hard time un-seeing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 128

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 196

You deserved it 44 205

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 179

You deserved it 4 238

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 763

You deserved it 753

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 901

You deserved it 989

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 011

You deserved it 3 868

Today, I caught my husband in bed with his side chick yet again. Two weeks ago he promised me he wouldn’t do it again, and last Saturday I caught him again. Today marks the fourth time. We’ve been together for eight years and have three children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 011