The Top

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Denial

By Alvin - 02/07/2021 17:01 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I'm quit my job after finding out that there were multiple confirmed cases of Covid-19. It wouldn't be a big deal, if I didn't find out that people aren't following safe distancing, checking their body heat, walking about without face masks, and leaving the entire site dirty as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 328

Why? What? Where? When?

By Anonymous - 15/09/2022 15:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, my fiancée of 4 years decided she can't live with me anymore. She never gave a reason, just upped and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 211

Fashion Week, Bitch

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 21:02

Today, I found out that my blazer was not in fact lost. How did I find this out? The girl who'd "lost it" was wearing it. She now denies it was ever mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 155

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 794

Thanks for the help

By singlemom - 15/07/2021 16:01

Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 198

Wiped out

By STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 310

Selfless

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, I was called a "freeloading parasite" and had a knife pulled on me for being a landlord. I buy land, build small starter homes, and rent or sell them, generally at a significant loss, out of a philanthropic desire to ease the housing shortage. For the gratitude I get, I should just build McMansions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 153

Gambled and lost

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 10:59

Today, I found out that my mom found a paper with my long lost username and password to an old crypto wallet with 17 bitcoins. She'd thrown it in the garbage bin before realising what it was. The bin was empty when I went running to check it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 273

Teenage riot

By Anonymous - 14/02/2024 06:00 - United States - West Chester

Today, I got dumped by a friend because she said I was "too much." She's treated me like shit and basically ignored me at times since the beginning of the school year, in favor of hanging out with another friend. I guess years of friendship really can disappear overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 129

Are friends electric?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 12:01 - Canada - Bancroft

Today, my neighbor's dog came to visit and I tried to bring him back home like I usually do. Only this time, when I grabbed the dog's collar, they zapped him! And it zapped me! My teeth still hurt! FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 123

Adopt, don't shop

By Anonymous - 17/10/2022 00:00

Today, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year, with no success. My husband's unemployable brother and (still legally married to another man) fiancée announced they are expecting. They have 7 kids between the two of them already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 149

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 346

Caught the bug

By STFU! - 03/04/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend has been randomly screaming out, “Coronavirus! Hehehe!” in a scarily accurate Cardi B impression. She’s been doing it for days and refuses to stop. I’m starting to think facing the damn virus might be less annoying at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 235

Lock him up!

By ffs - 15/10/2022 00:00

Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 237

Thanks, vultures

By Seizure Surprise - 21/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I had a seizure at work and had to go to the hospital. I'd saved up a bunch of money and was on the verge of moving out at the embarrassing age of 26, but thanks to lackluster health insurance, I lost all of my money and am now in debt. I also now can't drive for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 109

The pros and cons

By Why am I feeling miserable? - 28/08/2025 08:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I finally got a job after nearly two years of unemployment. My boss is amazing, my coworkers are fun and helpful, and the pay is great. There's just one issue: it seems as though nothing can change the fact that I simply do not enjoy the job itself, even though I really thought I would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 237

Block-cocked

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 19:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 142

My pride and joy

By A good cat owner - 02/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to another person that my cat is not morbidly obese, he just looks really fat when he lays down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 186

Sigma grind mindset

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 02:00

Today, my boss, mentor, and gaming buddy, has officially quit. Turns out even he doesn't get paid enough to deal with this bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 100

Tasty

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 06:01

Today, we all know the expression “Salt in your wounds” and it sounds rather unpleasant, right? Well, I just managed to breathe in while biting into an egg, so trust me, salt in your lungs isn’t great, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 202

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 08:01

Today, I pulled to the side of the road to take my medication. A cop claimed he’d seen me circling the area several times and gave me a ticket for kerb crawling. I’d literally just got off the motorway to take my pills. My wife is never going to believe I was innocent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 116

Therapy circle

By Not mentally well - 20/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has a therapist. That's cool. What's cooler is that she's a very nice lady, and even said to ME that I could talk too if I wanted to. Boy, do I want to. But if I did, then she would probably need a therapist herself, and the last thing my dad needs is his therapist needing a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 412

Home invasion !

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I woke up to find my entire lounge floor crawling with maggots. Our whole house is clean, and they’re big enough to be days old, yet showed up overnight. I still have no idea where they’ve come from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 91

Portal

By OpenSesame - 09/05/2020 05:00

Today, at Walmart, I unknowingly chose the only non-automatic door to exit through. I stood in front of the door looking for the motion sensor while the greeters laughed at me for at least half a minute before I saw the "PUSH" sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 902

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 329

Ticket to ride

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 22:01

Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 166

Business as usual

By Anonymous - 03/10/2025 12:00

Today, as usual, 90% of my interactions with my wife consist of her angrily ranting and complaining about things I can't control, like the weather, traffic, her son's dad, her insurance, etc. She never initiates any sort of affection and doesn't care about my needs, then wonders why I'm so depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 195

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00

Today, in the neon-lit maze of Tokyo, I stumbled, drunk and disoriented, mistaken for a lost sailor. Arrested, I found myself at the wrong naval base. At 3 AM, two stern Master Chiefs arrived, confusion turning to relief as they whisked me away, navigating the streets like seasoned captains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 560

Omar?

By Xander - 24/11/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend watched my favorite show for the first time and was really crazy about this one character. She said she wanted a man like him. The man of my girlfriend's dreams is a fictional gay guy who robs drug dealers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 138

Stolen valour

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 02:00

Today, after my husband refused to donate to Children in Need because it’s a "waste of money", he came home with swords and shields so he and our son could "wage war in the garden like knights". I wanted to donate £20, the swords and shields cost £500 at least, but I’m the one wasting money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 338

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The Top

Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 729

You deserved it 2 750

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 824

You deserved it 11 599

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 734

You deserved it 2 765

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 834

You deserved it 4 773

Today, I was told by a former coworker that my former boss still talks about me being lazy, ever since the time I refused to do a few things on third shift when there was me and 2 other people working. I haven't worked there in 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 246

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 285

You deserved it 26 484