The Top

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Whiffy

By Uber Chad - 25/03/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 371

Just a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - 25/10/2020 21:02 - United States - Kirkland

Today my brother disconnected my internet and made my task bar disappear. I spent 2 hours trying to fix it, when I figured out I just had to restart the computer. Now I'm a little behind on assignments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 313

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was dating someone who completely believed cyborgs killed his family, although they are very much alive. He also faked having relationships a couple of times, and last but not least he pretended to be someone else he was stalking in real life for 3 years. I only found this out after I broke up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 141

Sounds lovely

By akvan - 30/10/2020 06:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my coworker, who keeps calling me Mexican even though she knows I'm not, is telling everyone that I act like a bitch to our boss, even though she's the one who is always contradicting and fighting with her, and I always try to keep everything professional. No other jobs are calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 78

We're so sorry, Uncle Albert

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 18:00

Today, I'd promised my flatmate I’d sleep somewhere else so he could hook up with his Tinder date. Unfortunately I had a bad day at work and totally forgot so I went home as normal and walked in on him in the front room, balls deep in my aunt, who is “happily married” to my favourite uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 212

Badass fighting talk

By Welp - 19/04/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 679

Quack detector

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 09:59 - Malta - Nadur

Today, I went to see a "Weight loss Manager." When I told her that I have a slow thyroid at the of age 29, she excitedly explained that it's all in my head, and that I gain weight because of the food I eat. I'm a healthcare professional and I think I went to see a quack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 215

Drilled

By Anonymous - 22/02/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was having drilling work done on my teeth. My dentist slipped and drilled a hole in my cheek. I said mistakes happen, but that I didn't expect to pay for the work. They still billed me for it and sent me a prescription that I had to go and get (and pay for) in case it got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 135

Paranoia

By Anonymous - 22/11/2020 05:01 - Australia

Today, I offered help a customer to record his details, as he didn't have a scanner. He just stared at me, saying that he would never give any of his details if I typed them on my phone, as I could "do something else" without him knowing. He ended up canceling his orders and got upset on his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 152

Weird logic

By lazy lazy lazy! - 08/05/2023 00:00

Today, I realized how lazy my daughter truly is when I saw her shivering under a thin blanket on top of her perfectly made bed. I asked why she didn’t just climb under her covers to sleep warm and comfortable. She said that this way she doesn’t have to make up her bed every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 240

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 14:02

Today, I was ghosted by my next door neighbor, who I've been seeing/hooking up with for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 330

Time for a change

By Anonymous - 15/05/2023 06:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me our entire relationship, texting and messaging on social media asking to have relations with multiple women. I just moved to a new city with him, consolidated most of my big items, and we are supposed to move into our new apartment in 4 days. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 144

Our insect overlords

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 10:58

Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 77

Catch 22

By xen - 20/12/2020 11:02

Today, while in a crowded store, someone tore my mask off my face and ran away. Then before I could run after them, I got stopped and screamed at for not wearing a mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 89

My brain hates me

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 04:00

Today, I'm trying to sleep. If I fall asleep now, that's still four hours of sleep. My brain: "Enjoy this retrospective of assorted failures from your childhood through today! We now join the program already in progress." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 169

Get lost

By Anonymous - 23/05/2023 15:00 - United States - Columbus

Today, a customer violently ranted how people in Latin America are "nothing but filth" compared to the “clean, civilized” people of "Anglo countries like Australia and New Zealand." All because I told him that flash photography is not permitted. If that’s not bad enough, the police were unwilling to do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 157

Common enemy

By Hillary won 2016 - 28/05/2023 18:00

Today, my Trump-supporting father and DeSantis-supporting uncle got in a huge political argument. They eventually made up, and spent the evening mercilessly mocking their Bernie-loving relative, AKA me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 578

Gotcha

By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 97

Homeschooled?

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 20:00 - United States - Wareham

Today, I found out my boyfriend didn’t know what quotation marks are. He’s 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 131

Here's to a better year

By tasian14 - 01/01/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years decided on New Year's Eve to get on his knees and tell me that he cheated on me with his ex, and they're getting back together. Yay last day of 2020! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 102

Close shave

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 15:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I was almost hit by a bus, missing me by a few centimetres, and only because I jumped back the moment I heard its horn. I was using the zebra crossing, and the lights were green for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 139

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 15:00

Today, I showed my best friend proof that her husband was sexually harassing me. Now she's refusing to talk to me, and I can't let my own husband out of my sight, for fear that he's going to murder the guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 142

Grumpy git

By Anonymous - 03/05/2022 02:00

Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 130

Who are you?

By NotlovingAgain - 14/03/2022 06:00

Today, knowing my long-distance boyfriend was cheating on me with a local girl, I decided to make a surprise visit to confront him by showing up to his home. Both of them answered the door. My boyfriend claimed to not know me, and threatened to call the cops. I ended up back at the airport in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 482

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 12:00

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 130

Grind Mindset is a lifestyle

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 22:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, my boss took back the raise he promised me, because I'm “not as resilient as I made him believe.” Well yes, I had the audacity to get sick at an inconvenient time for the company, and I am hardly able to leave my bed, let alone work. Which is apparently due to a “lack of positive mindset.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 118

What are you doing?

By StopMe - 20/05/2019 12:00

Today, I went to a Hobby Lobby with the director of the play my daughter is in. He leaned in to grab a bottle of blue paint, and I mistook it for a hug. When he looked perplexed, I hugged him again, this time jumping in celebration of finding the blue paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 561

Louis Pasteur wept

By Concerned mom - 06/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 140

Harsh words

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 873

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The Top

Today, my mom had to go off on my grandmother because I don’t have kids yet and she, "wants great grand babies before she dies." My grandmother was going to gift me a baby outfit for me to get another hint. I’m 25 and can’t conceive because of health issues. I may never have my own kids. She knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 143

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 614

You deserved it 8 505

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 159

You deserved it 12 923

Today, I was starting a new job and I didn't want to be late, so I took a train that left earlier than normal, just to make sure I'd be on time. Turns out, the earlier train wasn't an express train, and made it to my stop 12 minutes after my usual one did. I was late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 484

You deserved it 4 520

Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 154

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 316

You deserved it 8 519