The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Exes from hell

By what the actual fuck?! - 02/08/2021 07:01 - United States

Today, my psychotic ex-boyfriend hit a brand new low. I was served court papers, saying that he’s suing me by demanding I give him a paternity test for my daughter. He’s also telling everyone he’s her real father. He and I were broken up for more than a year before I even got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 114

I need a wipe!

By Not funnu - 23/10/2022 04:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 265

Modern concepts

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 17:00 - United States - Menomonie

Today, my college roommate is a Studio Art major. For a project, she brought home a pig's intestine to keep in our tiny dorm room freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 105

Two-stroke

By sushichick - 15/04/2020 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 803

You deserved it 291

Foreshadowing

By anon - 31/10/2022 10:00

Today, I overheard my girlfriend talking to her friends, saying the most attractive guys are tall and dark-skinned. I'm about average height and pale. Uh-oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 137

Natural birth

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 04:01

Today, during labor, I farted every time I pushed with very deep sounds. I was so ashamed. I pushed so hard, I pooped and splashed the nurse in front of me right in the face. Everyone stopped laughing and the nurse didn’t talk until baby came. When my husband called my in-laws, it’s the first thing he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 169

Let me go home, for a start

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 10:00 - Thailand - Huai Khwang

Today, I'm at a company seminar on the topic "Employee Happiness." The goal is to figure how to improve happiness in our workplace. The mandatory agenda runs for 14 hours straight and requires me to be away from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 125

What's up, bro?

By WhatAMess - 06/11/2022 18:00

Today, I walked in on my wife bouncing up and down on my brother’s lap. She proceeded to throw a tantrum, crying that it was “my fault” for coming home unannounced and ruining everything. She then stormed off into our room. My brother just sheepishly pulled his pants up and left our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 187

Never drunk call your ex

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 22:00

Today, I went out with a friend to a bar. After several Cosmopolitans, I decided to finally call my ex and tell him everything about how I feel, and how I really miss him. In the end, he said that it’s all so sweet and he will call my later. He hasn't called me since then. Instead, I was blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 1 468

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 94

It's me, it's Cathy, I've come home

By Not Cathy - 26/09/2025 03:00

Today, I stopped at a café before work and ordered a cappuccino. They called out, “Cathy?” I assumed it was mine, grabbed it, and left. Turns out Cathy likes her coffee with four espresso shots. By 10 a.m., I was vibrating and sending emails that read like manifestos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 539

Without me

By CrescentSelene - 23/12/2019 20:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I saw my mom's Facebook profile picture for the first time. It had all of my family members in it. I was cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 335

You deserved it 254

Time for tinnitus

By Anonymous - 11/11/2022 18:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, my roommate shouted his entire part of the conversation at the dinner table. He refuses to get his hearing checked, nor lower his voice, so now my ears hurt for the rest of the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 111

Never do this

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 15:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at the museum where we met, with a violinist playing her favourite song. She said yes but later said she felt put on the spot in public, and if I’d proposed in private, she probably would've said no. I’m in my feelings trying not to cry right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 451

Help!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2022 22:00

Today, I got my braces in. I also got my period a week early. Tylenol can only help so much with the pain, but if I have something warm to eat/drink the wire tightens but my cramps aren't be as bad. I would have something cold, but we only have frozen meat and chunky ice cream, which I can't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 135

The anti Jackson Galaxy

By Anonymous - 04/09/2021 19:59

Today, I was feeding my neighbor's cat while they are out of town. As I set the food down, the cat bit me, drawing blood. I reflected that although I'm all that stands between it and starvation, even the cat doesn't want to be my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 144

Busted

By PhuckedUpppo - 14/10/2025 22:00

Today, I’m getting a divorce because apparently, when you send your now soon-to-be ex wife a live photo and she presses on it, you can hear your mistress speaking in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 345

Not a player

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 14:00

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 546

Parental advice

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my brother and his wife, who is 6 months pregnant, disturbed our boring family vacation by having really loud sex. Our Mother then began a sentence aimed at me that started with, "I think if you showed more enthusiasm…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 191

I love rock n roll

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 14:00

Today, while I was singing a song with my guitar at a college open mic, my eyes started to burn, causing me to tear up and stop playing. Everyone in the audience thought I'd actually started to cry mid-performance. I ended up having to leave the stage teary-eyed and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 163

Failure on every level

By Jason - 07/12/2022 06:00

Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 146

You OK mom?

By today - 09/09/2021 12:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I woke up in a good mood, and I excitedly shared with my mom that I was in a "wonderful mood." Her response was to yell at me because she’s "had it with my fucking sarcasm." She refuses to believe I wasn’t being sarcastic. Day ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 152

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 460

A touching Christmas tale

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 00:00

Today, I brought my girlfriend back to my place, but my abusive, homeless dad, who I haven’t spoken to in a year, had broken in to have sex with some woman in my front room, before both passing out on heroin. My girlfriend saw my dad's penis and drug stuff, and left me to clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 265

Unresolved issues

By Anonymous - 21/12/2022 15:00

Today, I wanted to spend some time with my daughter, since I work all the time and hardly ever get time off. She wanted to play Minecraft, so played it with her. Have you ever been killed over and over in a video game by an 8 year-old? I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 309

Ghosted

By Di Da - 06/07/2020 23:02

Today, my boss came to my desk and asked me how the work is going, then he just walked away in the middle of me explaining a problem in the project. When I wanted to make an appointment with his secretary, she told me he isn't going to have any time this and next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 134

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

By Panek - 07/10/2021 23:01

Today, I had a panic attack because my wife yelped at me. What did I say that made her yell? I told her that I had just been diagnosed with a panic disorder that's triggered by people yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 163

Higher standards

By Anonymous - 10/07/2020 02:02

Today, my mom fought with me again for missing an "important" 4th of July family barbecue. I was working until the morning, finishing grad school applications. There are always family events, and also apparently my brother missing the same barbecue to party with friends is perfectly fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 145

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I got the news that my ex-boyfriend from two years ago died in a car crash. My fiancé found me crying in the living room when he came home from work. When he found out why I was inconsolable, he said, "Make sure you say hi to that abusive turd in hell for me, thanks for everything." He is now staying at a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 1 633

Gamer boy

By I married a child - 20/12/2025 03:00

Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 341

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my father accused me of not taking care of my 15-month-old son, who is putting on weight slowly because of starting to walk and run. Come on, for a man who sees his grandchildren two or three times a year and never gives his daughter a call, who gave him the courage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 130

Today, my manager sat me down and insinuated that it's my fault that our new hires are useless. Not one person ever told me that I was responsible for training them. I'm not in charge, and they've been here for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 85

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 519

You deserved it 3 288

Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after the threesome we all had a few months ago. The threesome was my wife's idea, but I suspect I am still a dead man when it comes to whose fault it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 699

You deserved it 5 261

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 219

You deserved it 4 247

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 622

You deserved it 9 022